Suicide en masse

How do you start a story? I've been writing a story for 8 years now, but never liked the beginnings i write. I did not end it so far, but that's another story!!

I aspire to be a writer. I thought I had it in me to be a successful writer. But I'm not so sure now, because I hardly find time to write! (Or is it that I don't have anything to write about?)

I guess I'll have to do something about it instead of just dreaming. But then, unless I dream, where will I get the ideas from?

((Background voices: "Aw, cut it all, buddy!!! And just go to sleep, will you?"))

Ok.. Ok. I'll drop the topic, I guess people are bored already of 'aspiring writers' anyway!! But I have another passion too. Photography.

I got so interested in capturing images, after I met this friend of mine who was an amateur photographer. I declared to people that as soon as get my first salary, I would buy an SLR and start the mega project. I must have drawn, lemme see..., 84 salaries since then? And all I own now is a point-n-shoot Cam that came free when I bought a telephone connection!!

Without losing heart, I tried to utilise the god-send and started clicking at the images of all Durga Pandals last year. But it turned out that the film was ISO/100 and all open-air images were BLANK. Now, where will a man go with all this kind of conspiracy against him, eh???

((Background voices: "Man, don't you listen to reason?? You and your blasted passions, just leave us alone!!!!!"))

Fine, fine, fine! No more stories of despair from me. Relax and go out for a cuppa with your girl friend. Atleast you have a girl friend!

Look at me! I'm one incurable romantic, as the cliche goes! I had a crush on 37.45% of the females I met, fell hopelessly in love with 57.62% of the females I ever talked to (even if it is only something like, "Oh! Are we supposed to bring our own musical instruments?" to a fellow aspiring singer in school. I never talked to her after or before that!) and am ready to propose to 90% of the girls who considered me a friend even for a moment. And I'm not counting the movie actresses, Ad-models, TV anchors, Pin-ups, various characters in the books I read etc etc.

And I don't have a girl friend today! "Not that I can't get one but I just did not meet anyone who met my expectations"

((Background voices: "Drop dead, loser! Who cares if you are only a bum? Stop the crap before our ears start bleeding!! Come on away from the computer or we're going to shoot your head off!!"))

Sure. Why not? I mean, when a guy filled up 16 passport applications in the past 7 years, but never ever submitted even one, what else can you say to him? I even accumulated 50-odd passport photos for the purpose!! I am actually planning to submit it tomorrow, unless there is.....

((Background sound: BANG.. BANG.. BANG.....))

(this is something I wrote in late 2004 on my profile on ryze.com - republished)