Monday, May 20, 2013

Manmohan demands answers from the Chinese PM

An international crisis has nearly materialized this afternoon, allegedly because the Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh angrily demanded answers from the visiting Chinese PM, Li Keqiang about the recent events involving Chinese policies. Singh was referring to the poor quality controls on goods made in China, and showed a broken mobile phone handset that he had bought from Palika Bazaar last September. Media had widely reported last year that a brand new fake iPhone bought by Singh went up in smoke, mid-way through a phone conversation he was having with the Bengal CM, Mamata Banerjee. Readers would also recall that it was the abrupt end to the conversation that provoked Banerjee to withdraw her party's support to UPA.

Keqiang denying responsibility
On Keqing's part, even though he had every reason to be upset at the hostile treatment, the recently-elected Chinese PM recovered his composure quickly in the interests of Brand China and politely directed Singh to call their Call Center for further assistance, giving a toll-free 1-800 number and promising that a single call will solve all the problems.

PMO's spokesperson, Parag Shastri said, "It's not news that we Indians are angry about the recent incident involving China and its policies. China had no business to intentionally provoke a military conflict by selling a faulty fake iPhone to the Indian PM. The phone has seriously damaged the PM's abilities to survive a full term and also his reasoning abilities since then. Sure, the Chinese are denying responsibility saying it was a localized issue involving a few factory workers in Aksai Chin. But for Indians, this is a matter of serious impact, and no peace is possible unless the phone is replaced under warranty."

Inside sources tell us that after being on call-wait for three hours, Singh finally got through to a Service officer on the 1-800 number given by Keqiang. It is reliably learnt that the Service officer turned out to be Singh's own car driver who was part-timing for a Noida-based Call Center which handles complaints for most Chinese manufacturers.

Update: In an unrelated event, the Chinese today issued a new map of Asia, which showed a large part of Delhi as a Chinese territory, calling it West Beijing, producing pictures of a large number of road-side Chinese food stalls as proof.

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