“I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three…”
She came and sat next to me, waiting for the bus. I was pickled to the gills in Mallya’s best but I could still see that she wore red. Red! The colour of passion. The colour of her lips. I could hear a song right then. In my head.
“Manasa tulli padake…
Athiga aasa padake…”
(Silly heart, don’t rejoice so soon! Don’t hope for too much!)
An old song from an old telugu movie. I don’t know where that came from. Oh yeah, my head! It was there in my head, all the time. But it was a girl who sings it. The ‘heroine’. I need another song, I thought, a man’s love song.
“You’re sexist” she said. In a very matter-of-fact way. Like a nasty judge in an english wig, “You’re Guilty”. The poor murderer in ragged clothes bowed his head. “Next case!” screamed someone and they took him away and hung him until death. Hanged!
Bang, bang, hit your head, dumbass! It’s ‘hanged’, not hung. Matter-of-fact.
Aerosmith was singing ‘Pink’ now. She was shaking her hips to the music, wearing pink. Disco lights played over her slender body and the pink dress she wore blended with the colours….
“Pink! It´s my new obsession
Pink! It´s not even a question
Pink! On the lips of your lover, ´cause
Pink! Is the love you discover…”
I joined her in the dance. And so did all my friends. I could see some of them, some were shaking their heads in a maniacal way, hair flying in all directions. But they were dancing in rythm around her. Dancing with me. They are with me always! They will always be. My friends. Even when I’m dancing around this White Fairy. With her White Fairy dress fluttering and her Light Fairy wings fluttering and her Pretty Pearly eyes fluttering.
She leant over and Kissed me. Ah, the *Kiss*! The heavenly Kiss of the White Fairy that belonged only to me. No one else. It was the most real thing I ever felt. It swelled a sea inside me, and drowned me in ecstasy. Mild ecstasy - like *honey dew*! She chose me. I dreamt, I prayed for, I craved for this Kiss all my life. And she gave it to me, before I would even ask. She chose me over my friends, who are now shrinking into the mist. My friends, who stayed with me. The fairy lady is in my arms.
“You’re drunk” she said. In a coarse voice, that wasn’t hers. Like a flat, passionless line in a cheap russian-dubbed bollywood movie. I was wearing Mithun’s disco mask and she was that mithun’s girl in Disco Dancer movie. Shiny clothes sparkled for a moment under the moonlight. The guys from the Kafkaz love Mithun’s movies. Does he know that? Or do they like only the shiny clothes? May be he knows that.
She leant again and rested her head on my shoulders. ‘You know. I don’t have the same feelings...'
I said, yes, I knew.
“I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three…...
I know I’ll never see the sun,
Such is my reality,
a sad irrationality”
‘I knew that when you wore Red. In that bus station that day. I knew that when you shifted one seat when I took out my weed joi___’
Whack! Someone hit me on the knee hard. I woke up to see a menacing policeman standing over me. ‘Utho! Yahan nai sone ka’ (Get up! You can’t sleep here….)
‘I’m waiting for the bus’ I said.
‘What bus? There is no bus now!’
‘The 12.30 bus to Hyderabad. I have the ticket’ I showed it to him.
‘It’s 3 am now! Did you fall asleep?’ The policeman laughed.
The girl in the Red left her red lipstick behind. I clutched it and went away.
Aerosmith was still singing in my head…
“Pink! It was love at first sight
Pink! When I turn out the light
Pink! It´s like red but not quite
N I think everything's goin to be alright
No matter what we do tonight”