Monday, May 26, 2008


One of the side effects of commitment is a set of regular questions - "Why? What? When? How? Who? Where?"
With the degree of commitment, the volume varies. Like a lot of friendships start with the formality - 'How are you?' becoming a more inaguratory - 'How's u 2day my sweet pumkins?' or words to that effect! Which is ofcourse, always followed by "When do we meet?". This When stuff normally evolves into "When did u hav time for me?" ("When r u going to fix the Kithcen sink?" anyone?)
And you would see a lot of 'Why???' as a regular dose in an unequal relationship. I mean where one side dominates the other. A dismayful "What!!!" precedes a fight or a break in the thread of harmonious co-existence.
A short-lived friendship always peters down to 'Where were you? It's been a long time!' It can also start a fresh round of relationship, but don't count on that!
A real nasty one would be Who, though! "Who was that you were talking to?" "Who are you to tell me ____??" and ofcourse the final "Who are you? I don't know you!"
My point is, people who survive these questions and moderate their dose, go on to sustain and become Best Friends, Married couple, Business partners and who knows, form coalition governments!
Commitment, my friends, is a game of handling the questions right. And commitment phobia is in a lot of ways, just aversion to being answerable to someone! Doesn't have anything to do with selfishness or polygamist tendencies. Those can exist in even the happiest relationships and marriages of purpose or persons. O Henry has a lot of things to say about it, and so do I!

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