Creation as per Manu Smriti

The subject and the situation compelled me to blog after a long time. Lately, I started reading the much maligned Manu Smriti - the laws of Manu - that governed the social conduct of ancient Hindus. Manu Smriti, recited by Vaivasvata Manu and his descendant Bhrigu, is famous or should I say, notorious, for first encoding the caste system that continues to be a significant part of the Indian society and is the favorite punching bag for the rationalists, the discriminated and the illuminati. While I have no opinion about casteism at this moment, (Edit: I have since formed strong anti-caste opinions) I found Manu Smriti to be very revealing about 'creation' as per Hinduism, which is just an interesting side effect.

Being an avid fan of liberalism, particularly the American version of it, I really never cared for 'creationism', the Christian way or the Hindu way or any other religion's way. While I find the Biblical creationism to be highly creative, my impression of Hindu Creationism too is not a really favorable one. I mean, there's not much clarity in Hindu texts about creation, really. Overzealous religious wonks will always tell you that you are not qualified to ask that question. Thankfully, Rig Veda, the oldest Hindu text leaves it open for you to figure out.

Who really knows, and who can swear,
How creation came, when or where!
Even gods came after creation’s day,
Who really knows, who can truly say
When and how did creation start?
Did He do it? Or did He not?
Only He, up there, knows, maybe;
Or perhaps, not even He.

— Rig Veda 10.129.1-7

And then one gets to hear the story of the supreme creator Brahma being born in a lotus hanging from Vishnu's belly button, raising serious questions about divine hygiene, among other things. Which is why, after they teach you Charles Darwin's Evolution theory in school, pretty much every Hindu moves on to Darwinism and relegates the Brahma story to the children's section. An estimated 77% Hindus unconditionally believe in Darwin's theory of evolution as per studies. The balance, I'm sure, need some elementary schooling.

Creationism in Hinduism isn't a popular concept too. It is not a debated topic at all. Just the subject of idle intellectualisation, such as this blog. It also doesn't help that there are multiple scriptures in Hindusim and each explains Creation with varying detail and sometimes with conflicting interpretation. There's an excellent Wiki article that explains the conflict.

Manu Smriti, the leading authority on Hindu social laws, has some clarity about Creation, and I found it most appealing of all. I'm summarizing what Vaivasvata Manu says about Creation here because I found it to be interesting, and somewhat reconcilable to the evolution theory and the Big Bang. (I'm not well-versed with Sanskrit, so I had to rely on a translation of Manu Smriti by M G Hariharan.)

As with most Hindu texts, Manu says that Universe evolved from nothing. There was nothing before creation, not even God. Some Hindu texts differ on this aspect, but most conform. Rig Veda, as mentioned above, has no theory about it at all. When Manu says nothing, he means literally nothing.

"...unperceived, destitute of distinctive marks, unattainable by reasoning, unknowable, wholly immersed, as it were, in deep sleep...."

And from that 'unperceivable state of nothing', all of a sudden, emerged the 'Swambhu' (the self-creating God) with an irresistible power, creating the great elements with its emergence while quickly occupying / dispelling the 'nothingness'. The 'great elements' are the Earth (mass in solid state), Water (liquid state), Air (gaseous state), Fire (energy, a property of mass) and Vacuum (absence of mass).

Does this remind you of the Big Bang theory yet? Although the Big Bang does not and can not explain the initial state - 'what existed before the Big Bang' - the idea that there was nothing, and a self-initiating sequence led to creation isn't in conflict with that theory. For instance, the theory of particle-antiparticle can explain the state of nothingness evolving into what it is today.

Manu then proceeds to explain the creation of life. He says that the God shone forth with self-illumination. Again, my mind can't help associating this with the Big Bang. God then proceeded to create waters to place his seed in it to form a brightly lit golden egg. Brahma is said to have resided in the egg for an year (1 Brahma day/night cycle equals 864,000 human years. So 1 Brahma year = 315.36 million human years) At last, on his own Brahma, the progenitor of the universe, emerged from the egg. This is a significant observation in my opinion. A single cell that gave birth to the Universe as it exists, aided by God or not, is not an observation science would want to dismiss as 'hocus pocus'. The 'single egg in water' as the source of life conforms to Darwin's theory of evolution that life originated from single cell organisms in water.. A different interpretation can be that the egg represents the primeval atom that matter consisted of in the initial phases of Big Bang.

Manu smriti also mentions six minute particles of matter that embed themselves into the consciousness of God to form bodies (matter). This concept, again, can be reconciled to the presence of elementary particles of matter, though the number differs from what science believes today.

After this, Manu smriti launches into Creation schedule headlong, describing how God then proceeded to create the more specific features of the world, like the oceans and the trees etc., along with emotions associated with consciousness. He also created the class of deities that goven action in universe. He also drew forth the Vedas from fire, water and Sun.

It is interesting to note that in Hinduism, all creations of emotions are made in pairs. That is, cancelling emotions - such as pain and pleasure, merit and demerit. This is again, in conformity with the nature of the Universe. Particle and anti-particle, matter and anti-matter, galaxies and the blackholes etc.

The most significant part of the Hindu creationist theory is the division of Brahma into male and female. Though this aspect is given but a scant mention, this forms the base for creation. Just like the pairs of opposites created by the God, He Himself is a composite of the opposite genders - male and female - which He proceeds to reveal to aid Creation. Applying this to the Darwinist theory, binary fission of the single cell organism is the most likely explanation to evolution. Though gender evolved much later in the evolution chain, as per Darwin, the basic principle of a common single-cell ancestor is widely accepted. Creation as per Manu smriti can be interpreted to have strains of similar theory, though not necessarily the same.

The two gender halves of Brahma procreate to produce Viraj, the supreme being who then creates Manu using tapas. Manu is the offspring of Brahma, as per Manu smriti, and is the progenitor of the whole human species. From this point on, Manu smriti differs wildly from the theory of Evolution. Manu smriti talks of all species as evolved beings created in their current form and shape, which as we know now, isn't just true. Manu smriti moves on to other topics quickly from here on, but whatever brief mention to Creation was given, I found things to be interesting enough to stop and ponder.

Frankly speaking, there is no evidence of smiliarity between Manu smriti and the Darwinist theory of evolution except the interpretative opinion about the single cell common ancestor. But hey, it can't be ruled out that this is a valid interpretation and there is a possibility that Manu employed metaphor to speculate about both the Big Bang and Evolution in as few words as possible. Within whatever I read, I found that this theory of creation is much closer to the scientific explanation than any other theory put forward by major religions.

May be it warrants closer inspection and debate?

You can read the entire translated Manu smriti here.

K C Chakrabarty should find 'some other place' too

If the Chairman of India's largest bank is not allowed to debate with the overlords of RBI without getting publicly humiliated, how can a minnow NBFC from Kerala dare to raise its voice against irrational regulation? Last week, the incredulous skirmish between RBI and SBI reminded Indian bankers of the dark days of the past century. K. C. Chakrabarty, the loose mouthed Deputy Governor of RBI, asked the Chairman of SBI  Pratip K Chaudhari to find 'some other place' for making a perfectly reasonable suggestion about the Cash Reserve Ratio. Chakrabarty clearly does not believe in free speech and respectful debate. Instead, he disrespectfully dismissed views that he himself supported in the past and managed to deal yet another blow to morale of the lenders in the country.

Pratip Chaudhary, in his first major action in current office, rolled back his predecessor's attempts to persist with hybrid mortgage loans in defiance of RBI's diktat. Chaudhari candidly reasoned then, that he didn't want to be on a 'collision course' with RBI. Evidently, it doesn't take RBI too long to find alternative paths to collide with bankers in spite of the latter's reluctance.

The latest incident reveals how job creators in the country are persistently snubbed by the regulators like Chakrabarty, who have little stakes in the success or failure of the economy. Such pseudo-bureaucrats are still living in a Nehruvian era, where the relationship between regulator and industry is that of a master-servant. In fact, Chakrabarty regularly uses language such as 'the supervised and the supervisor', revealing his intentions to lord over the bank Chairmen he is 'supervising'. In his attempts to rub his imagined intellectual and hierarchical superiority on the 'supervised', the Deputy Governor is irreparably hurting the economy by thwarting credit growth and job creation.

Not one to shy away from providing yet another belligerent sound byte to the cameras, Chakrabarty has just in the past few weeks cautioned commercial banks against lending to the critical infrastructure sector, declared boldly that it is not RBI's job to help banks reach their priority sector lending targets and gave a ridiculous call for a 'socio-cultural revolution' in the country to reduce gold buying. The tragedy of the whole thing is, each of his statements is causing panic in job-creating sectors, dealing blows to an edgy economy with little credit flow and support from the Government. Only a delusional being from another planet would criticise the growth of infrastructure credit even in a developed country, leave alone an under-resourced country like India.

Chakrabarty's hard line posturing against his favourite topic - gold and the gold loan NBFCs - has already caused the RBI to issue irrational regulations, denying a large amount of credit to small business owners and farmers. He doesn't hide his contempt for a sector which supplies more than Rs.25,000 crores of small ticket secured credit to people with no access to bank finance. Most borrowers use the proceeds of this instant form of credit for temporary working capital in their business or agriculture, pawning their precious possessions for short term. RBI's aggressive regulation of NBFCs in this sector is hurting a lot of small borrowers.

The rapid expansion of gold loan industry also created thousands of jobs in a stagnant market and created a cascading job-creating effect, boosting local economies. RBI has already thwarted this growth by over-regulating the organized lenders, indirectly boosting the usurious practices of pawn brokers who still dominate over 50% of the gold loan industry. RBI is blind to the fact that organized gold loan business is meeting the same fate that microfinance in AP is facing. The small borrower and the job-seeker are the eventual victims of this unnecessary regulatory activism.

In spite of Chakrabarty's preposterous appeal to change Indians' gold-buying habits, the yellow metal still remains a very popular small investment vehicle and the prime choice for jewellery. It is not very far back in the past that economists of several countries appealed for a gold standard for currency during the 2009 economic crisis. That may be an extreme step, but dismissing gold as a worthless metal with no 'intrinsic value' is the talk of an out-of-touch man, desperate for headlines. Indians will continue to buy gold in spite of Chakrabarty's alternative universe , but won't be able to fully use it for temporary cash needs, because of RBI's actions.

Chakrabarty, and his brand of vigilante regulation has to go if this country is to see better times soon. Otherwise RBI, whose primary job is to aid healthy growth of the economy and not to lord over the industry, will spend all its time dealing with distractions like Nero while India burns. Already, there is a near freeze in credit growth in the country, and Chakrabarty is burning midnight oil to find ways to demoralise lenders further. He should urgently be shown 'some other place', and that place should be far away from TV cameras.

I met Kailash Kher last night

No, I didn't mean it literally of course. I didn't shake hands with him or pecked him on the cheek! Instead, I attended his transcendental concert at the Shanmukhananda Hall, Sion last evening. If connecting to the soul of art is the same as knowing the artiste, I have come to know Kailash Kher yesterday - Kailash Kher, the man who has God behind his voice!

The evening started badly. After negotiating the legendary Mumbai traffic from Goregoan West to Sion and finding that parking near the Hall was a luxury we had to forego, Mamata and I entered the concert hall 45 minutes late. Going late to somewhere always pisses me off, even though I never seem to be able to control that. Incredibly, the concert hadn't even started by the time we got seated proving that the 'Indian Standard Time' is a concept here to stay for some more time. Apparently, the culprit is the faux-celebrity, Anurag Pandey aka Picture Pandey of Fever 104.0 FM. Pfoof!

To add insult to the injury, our seats were horribly wrong. I could barely see the head of Kailash Kher bobbing up over the balcony wall and I hate to see live concerts on the big projection screens. It just doesn't feel 'live' when you can't see the artiste except on a telecast. By the time the opening nonsense about the generosity of sponsors and some ego-serving by Fever 104.0 FM was served, I was simmering deep down to my core like a piece of anthracite in a Tandoor . I prepared for the horrors of the evening to unfold.

How wrong I was! All it needed was Kailash Kher to start singing and the evening suddenly turned magical. A product of hard earth and limited means, he is as unsophisticated as his voice. He denies that though. He 'speaks English now, you know' he declared to the audience proudly. Making small talk with the audience throughout the evening, he dissed the bureaucrats who claim 'long-standing' friendship with him, journalists who ask dumb questions, VIPs who can't smile, Anurag Pandey and some other who come late. And the stories about his humble origins, the recent death of his mother, the story of rock-dudes in his Band - Paresh-Naresh, Kailasa's origin and its global success.... The evening had suddenly come alive for me!

Kailash Kher

Some audience left disappointed though. And some others were unruly as mobs usually are. They all came for the Nusrat Fateh Ali's songs. Kailash Kher meant nothing to them. I would assume the fault is at Fever's end. They promoted it excessively as 'Nusrat night' instead of 'Kailash Night'. Fans of Nusrat flocked in hundreds, only to hear modernized renditions of Rang deeni, Kinna Sona and some other classics. 'Oh, it was all so loud!' declared an exasperated lady on the way out. But of course it is, Aunty! It was Kailash Kher all the way. Didn't you know?

Kailsa's multi-talented band members and particularly Paresh-Naresh duo complemented their lead singer's vocals perfectly. Rang Deeni's modern make-over was pure genius. But the crown jewel was always going to be 'Saiyaa'. I tell you, there is God in this man's voice! That Kailash Kher is sincere is a known fact. Did you also know that the breathless singing that Saiyaa demands isn't a product of some clever studio wizardry? I realised that yesterday. He can really sing the long stretches without breaking. And when his breath gives away and the lungs refuse to go further, he squeezes his stomach in with his free hand to bring out the sound like it should! I never saw a singer more humble and sincere.

But you always had to have someone to spoil the party. Anurag Pandey, a nice man I'm sure, was a misfit for the presenter's role. He apparently has an ego of his own which he couldn't let go. When he was on stage, it was as much about himself as Kailasa and in spite of the subtle digs Kailash Kher was taking at the Picture Pandey, he had to do what he does. Biggest surprise was when they presented the star RJs of Fever on stage. Karan Singh, the bhabhi-magnet who presents the classical and Ghazal fare in the evening, turned out to be a westernised, gum-chewing, disinterested bloke with a facial expression that can only be termed 'arrogant'. May be he was going for 'non-chalant', but who cares!  Amidst all this buffoonery, Kailash Kher's humilty stood out like a pristine lotus in a mud pond.

The crowd kept clamouring for Nusrat's numbers inspite of Kher reminding them that he isn't an FM Radio program which plays listener's choices at whim. The crowd kept at it in spite of that, to the extreme annoyance of Mamata and Kher himself. In the end, he obliged and closed the evening with one last Nusrat number to silence the cacophony.

When the stage lights went away and the band started packing up, the front benchers moved forward to click a picture of the singer. He didn't sniff his nose in a nonchalant way and rush back to the green room. Instead, Kailash Kher moved forward to meet his admirers, bent forward and folded his hands, posing for the photographs. The lucky ones captured the moment in their cell phones. I was so moved, and so far away from the stage, I decided to capture the moment in my own way - I decided write a blog after nearly six months and treasure the moment in my memory, forever!

Your first lesson in Awesomeness!

"Suit Up!"

I love this guy, Barney. If I hadn't met Mamata and decided that a decade's worth of arguments built-up against marriage needed to be summarily overruled, I would have followed in his foot steps and built my life exactly along the same lines. Suit up, it is!

'How I Met Your Mother' is the Friends equivalent of this decade. If you haven't caught up with it yet, it is time you changed your priorities in life. Ok, that's a bit too much to say about a TV series, however iconic it may turn out to be. But I guess if I judged the readership of this blog right, it belongs to a generation that couldn't ignore 'Friends' or its multiple reruns. At some point of time or the other you would have seen yourself in one of the characters. It was like seeing a bit of your life on TV.

Exactly the same kind of clever writing and characterisation makes HIMYM the toast of TV comedies this decade. Launched it 2005, it took me five full years to discover this. Dushyant kept pushing me to check it out for atleast an year now, and for some reason I wasn't too willing. May be I wasn't ready to let go of my 'Friends' memories. I mean, how can anyone make a series better than that, right? 'Friends' rocked. I put it out some social networks that the kind of guys I liked to hang out with should be like Joey and Chandler. see? It is really difficult to create such characters. And frankly, I didn't believe this series could do it.

But then I came down with Jaundice and had to stay home.Lying on the bed, watching the 270th rerun of the 47th sequel of Friday the 13th, I suddenly remembered that I had a stock of all the seasons of 'HIMYM' that I never got around to watching. So I fished out the collection, and started forcing it on myself. First two episodes were, "er...., too contrived. Nah, not my type!" But I couldn't go back to Friday the 13th again, so I stuck to the task. And I discovered it. This is what people have been talking about! This one was really good! All right, the characters have shades of Friends. So do their relationships. You could sit and analyse all day and keep finding similarities. Ted and Robin are like Ross and Rachel. Lily is a bit of Phoebe. Marshall is a bit of Ross. Central Perk coffee gives way to McLaren's Pub, and Joey peeks out of Barney once in a while.

Speaking of Barney, that's what this blog is all about. He holds this really larger than life image of himself and says it twice each episode. He characterises himself in a single word. 'Awesome'. And even if he sneezes, his nose oozes only awesomeness and nothing else, mind you! I suddenly remembered where I saw this guy before. Earlier in the day, in the mirror. Me! I would have turned out to be Barney! I would suit up too, weather permitting it. I would live alone in an apartment with all the latest gadgets and a gigantic TV. I'd have the world's best porn collection and a kitchen sink used to convey the message that long term relationships don't belong here. And I would hit on girls I'd meet in office canteen (no women in bar in India) like I used to!

Except, there this episode where Lily turns wistful about her missed life dreams and how the upcoming wedding is about to permanently bottle them up. Robin reasons out, saying she is marrying a man who will make missing out on any kind of dream worth it all the way.

I kept smiling through it all. Not that I'm missing on any serious dreams myself, but all those porn collections and women in canteen were certainly part of the scheme. No, that's not the point. The point is, numerous people have asked me at the time of my wedding and later, 'But haven't you vehemently argued against marriage and taken blood oaths that you would never marry?'

Yeah, I did. Some past blogs will stand testimony.

But then, there came along a girl who made dumping it all away and running alongside the matrimonial express worth it all the way. Now you see why I like HIMYM so much? There's a bit of my life in it too!

P.S: I still haven't given up on awesomeness though. I just designed this poster to commemorate my Jaundice. Awesome poster. Awesomeness oozing by gallons, really! Here it is, your first lesson in Awesomeness. ;-)

I wanted to say something instantly gratifying about instant gratification today: "Give it some time!"

Tendulkar....

I came across this beautiful line about Sachin Tendulkar in an article written 9 years ago on cricinfo.com:

A majority of us look to (Sachin) to make us feel better. When he walks out to bat, the weight of a nation's inadequacies is on his shoulder. What we can't achieve in our day to day lives, we look for Tendulkar to make up for on the cricket field.

Brown, Barack and Bobby

So Barack was in Europe recently. Great speeches ofcourse. From Michelle too, this time!

A minor incident occurred on the trip. Obama, stepping into 10 Downing, saw the quintessential bobby standing guard outside. He leant over, said something to him which was unfortunately inaudible to the thousand journalists standing there to catch exactly something like that and shook the hand of the police officer. The officer was visibly delighted and, as an NY times Op-Ed columnist puts it, "like everyone else who has his palm touched by Barack Obama, he was visibly transported and briefly forgot himself...." The policeman left his hand hanging in the air, whether to offer it to Gordon Brown who was right behind, or with the sheer hope that the touch he felt would linger in the air like some elvish fragrance of a fair maiden!

(Ok, that was a by-product of The Lord of the Rings I'm reading now and some sniffing of elvish fragrances I've been indulging in of late!)

Any case, Brown couldn't see the hand as he never notices the Policeman standing guard. Or so the vindictive British press would have us believe. Given that Gordon Brown is an isolated man these days and is fast climbing down from the seat he occupies, he should have taken the only hand that was offered!

The Non-Attachment Theory

Atleast three people asked me so far how I could react so coolly to the blog disaster. I take it as an opportunity to write a new post!

Well, it happened to me before too, you know! No, my blog didn't vanish before. What I mean is, I've seen a near total purge of a comfortable situation more than once in life and I have enough practice by now. How do you feel when something like this happens? Like someone just pressed the 'Reset' button somewhere. Like in a video game, when you are in Level 10 and about to win, but the evil wizard just zonked you and you are back in Level 1 again! Like a fragile mirror just slipped through your fingers. And every molecule in your body lunges forward to catch it, but your hand doesn't react as fast as your eyes. Every hair on your body stands up for a moment. For that split-second, nothing else matters to you in this world, but that mirror plunging faster than your heart. For that split-second, you instinctively want to do a million things to stop it from hitting the floor, but you could do none! It's too late, it's broken now, it's done! You look at the million pieces of a mirror that met its destiny and all you could do is to wish to turn the clock back for that split second. I don't know what you do at such times. As for me, I just say 'Oh, shit!' and sweep the pieces out of my life forever!

Ah, that's life! Beautiful, isn't it?

It is not as if it didn't affect me. I went to an English Speakers' club last night and spoke to an audience for the first time in many years. I was thinking of giving a political speech about the youth of India, but after the mirror incident I decided to speak about Indian philosophy! Er... did I say the mirror incident? I mean, the blog incident ofcourse!

I spoke at length about the diversity of languages, religions and cultures in India. The repeated invasions and their influence on modern India. In the end, we spoke about karma and the evils of caste system. Ofcourse they asked about Bollywood too! It was an evening well spent and it sort of relieved my slightly disturbed mind. It also gave me confidence about my speaking abilities, though this was only 20 people listening and it was quite a friendly atmosphere.

Ok, I've got work to do... and let's end the post here!

Purged!

Latest news: All the posts on my blog accidentally got purged after I attempted to change the labels.

Now for a fresh start!

Thank you for reading my 97 posts so far! I was trying to summarise my blog activities for the 100th one, hence the idea of re-engineering. But it wasn't meant to be!

And what a way of realising how fragile life is! It's like someone just killed my alter-ego!

But no regrets. I like this kind of grounding once in a while. Keeps life going!

Go Obama!

"...the victory belongs to the young people who rejected the myth of their apathy!"- Obama in his acceptance speech

Premature!

Premature greying is fine. I lived with it since my teens and though it is more prominent on my head now, I've decided not to hide it with dyes. It's a part of me and I have learnt to live with the shame of it, as I do with the rest of my body.

But the shock of my life today was grey nasal hair!!! I mean, grey nasal hair is 'crossing the line' by a mile!! There it is infront of me... I plucked it and kept staring at it for a long time. It looks like a healthy strand of hair, thick and straight but totally grey! And it came from my nose!

Can't believe it! As gross as this topic may sound to you, imagine my state of mind! Put yourself in my shoes and you will know what I'm going through right now!

One More Rock Song Please

Rock is what you listen to when you are pissed off with life!

It's awesome how a door opens in your mind, and opens a new side to you! I was watching 'School of Rock' last night, where Jack Black took pains to explain what Rock is all about.... And why do people Rock, when do people Rock..

I tried to be a Rock fan when I was a teenager, but didn't like it much to be honest! May be I was matured beyond my years and was unnaturally at peace with the pathetic quagmire of life I was dragging my feet in. Like a mangled mongrel returning to the filth of the gutter night after night! I followed that routine until yesterday....

Now that I have catharsized myself to a state of mind befitting an underformed brain in an overdeveloped adoloscent, I immersed myself into the spirit of Rock before I knew. Ever since yesterday I've been listening to Rock whenever I'm pissed off... That's jus about the whole goddam time

I began with classic Rock stations... but the reason why I was pissed off in the original place remained. I graduated to Progressive Rock for more sound... so on and so forth, if you care even a tiny bit to know. And all the while, the reason played havoc with my mind when I stopped listening

Now I'm at the hard rock and heavy metal stations after a half an hour of quiet walk caused mayhem, crushing my stability.... I think I crossed a line somewhere in the process, and don' want to return anymore

This is what Dream Theater is screamin right now

"I've been wasting my breath on you
Open minds will descend upon you
To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am..."

The electric guitar solo jus ended and the drums are crashing totally in sync with my turmoil in my soul! Damn it, why didn't I discover the Rock side of me so far!!

Oops....

TOI reported recently - Narendra Modi: "It is not a friendly Government at the Center. Even if they had the slightest proof, they'd have hung me"

A video link appeared promptly on its website, titled "They'd have hung me!"

Today, it stands corrected to "They'd have hanged me"

A Misquote...

Somewhere on the western coast of Scotland, there lives in the house of Ilanora and Chris, a scraggy, greying dog called Sally. She is a cross between a magnificent specimen and something forgettable. Sally is strikingly affectionate. She patters across the floor, she pants, she pines for attention the moment she sees any life form capable of reciprocation. As if she craves for the tiniest bit of love you can spare for the piteous mongrel and she is begging you to know that it means the world to her. It would be horribly insulting to call it an identity deficiency. I think there is an aspirational streak hidden in it somewhere. To be a step higher in your eyes.

Ilanora's daughter, Kirsty, said to her mother, "Ugh! She's so wuff!! How do you bear with her?"

My friend travelling with me said, "Oh, she is so pitiful!"

I said, "I feel like she's my soulmate!"

So I reached across for my dreams and listed them down on an excel-sheet, balancing against the mountains I need to climb and the 5% preclosure charges the banks will collect. I left a tenpence coin behind to make a wormhole in my lifestory, hoping to someday fill it up with the surplus on my excel-sheet. Only, there is no surplus in sight and time is running out. Sally is greying and still didn't find peace with her identity. I connect with her on that point. Grey hair included.

A random customer drops in the other day asking for a favour. Social compulsions forced him to ask where I lived and if I was married. I didn't think it was appropriate to lie.

"Oh, how old are you?", he said.

"Twenty nine"

"Time to get married!", he added. I was sure he meant to say 'too old'! A random guy, with a random opinion.

I don't understand why I react to such things. Like a teenager rebelling against the world, establishing his point of view. Like in one of those teen flicks of Hollywood. Funny, most of these flicks seem to have Prom nights or house parties in them somewhere, that save the whole world in the end! Do you know of any teen flicks without a house party or a prom night in them?

Anyway, my point is the journey began and as usual, it is yet to shift into gear. But I hope it does, and I hope I won't let Sally down! I began working on my dream career and I hope I can make it to the end.

If I don't, you can treat this all as a misquote....

A peek into the Future (or What I want to be when I grow up)

Year 2018

Scenario 1:

I'm a successful writer, with a few short story collections and one novel published. I'm well networked among the who's who of Mumbai, live in a cosy apartment in the town-side. Still a bachelor at thirty-eight, and wiser on account of it. I have business interests in a cocktail bar in Goa, where I mix great cocktails for the tourists and my international friends every holiday season. I go horse-back mountain trekking in Mongolia and deep-water-diving in crocodile infested waters of Amazon, for recreation.

If I crank up the imagination a bit, I possibly host a satiric talk show like Jon Stewart on a TV channel, deriding the politicians in particular and Karan Johar in general. May be my show would specialize in inviting the famous and beatutiful women of India, and me flirting with them outrageously on camera. I like to play to my strengths, you see!

************

Scenario 2:

A short balding man, with a disproportionate shape slips silently out of a creaking lift of a 40 year-old apartment building in the suburbs of Mumbai. He comes out of his apartment only once in a week. No one knows much about him in the building. People who have been inside his flat spread rumours of dusty stacked up pirated DVDs, video games and some moth-eaten books.

He is known to have been a normal guy when he moved in seven years ago, but after just a year, he became a recluse, a cranky old man. May be because he is single and miserable, the housewives whisper to each other. He had a good job once, but no one knows what he does now. He writes letters to newspapers and drafts spam messages, says Guptaji, who was inside the flat once for a Ganpati contribution that was never given.

The cranky guy's paunch stares out prominently, what little hair left is dirty and grey, eye-sight weak on account of all the late-night porn he watches on an old computer. He looks fifty five, but his real age is about forty, says Mr.Rathi on the second floor. They worked together in bank once, he claims but no one believes Mr.Rathi anyway!

************

What is it going to be?

1000 Visitors on the Meter!

Fans of the King, Rejoice!

My sitemeter clocked its 1000th visit in less than a year after it was installed!!

The lucky 1000th visitor was routed through the servers of btcentralplus.com - and investigations reveal that he/she was a googler from the UK who was looking for a specific phrase - "Nigerians in Bombay"

As it happens, this phrase appears in my 'The Copywright" in an oblique reference to Old Jack's opinionated existence! But since it was not really relevant to the objectives of the search, the visitor left presumably unamused!

I can hear a few Critics saying: 1000 visits don't mean 1000 people; and atleast 250 visits were made by me alone to go back to review my glory; and my site meter wasn't installed for atleast 1 year after my blog was started; and it was down for a few months in between too; so the count is not right; and at best the total number of people who came on to my blog including "the accidentally stumbled" would be 35-40 in all. So the 1000 visits on the meter is the most insignificant statistic in my life and there is really no cause for celebration!

My reply: Oh, Wot Da Heck! Didn't u notice the name of this blog?

Indinigerians!

On the subject of Nigerians, I was snooping around a bit and found this link:

http://www.nigeria-connected.com/people/5285

India has a poor sex-mix but I didn't know that people now started looking for 'Relationships' on Nigerian social networking sites!! Here's one especially enterprising 28 year old despo from Ponnur town, Guntur District, Andhra Pradesh!!!! (that's my mom's long forgotten hometown btw)

One of his photos sure seems to give enough proof of the skewed sex ratio in his town!! ;)

http://www.nigeria-connected.com/photos/7038

Rules!!!

One of the side effects of commitment is a set of regular questions - "Why? What? When? How? Who? Where?"

With the degree of commitment, the volume varies. Like a lot of friendships start with the formality - 'How are you?' becoming a more inaguratory - 'How's u 2day my sweet pumkins?' or words to that effect! Which is ofcourse, always followed by "When do we meet?". This When stuff normally evolves into "When did u hav time for me?" ("When r u going to fix the Kithcen sink?" anyone?)

And you would see a lot of 'Why???' as a regular dose in an unequal relationship. I mean where one side dominates the other. A dismayful "What!!!" precedes a fight or a break in the thread of harmonious co-existence.

A short-lived friendship always peters down to 'Where were you? It's been a long time!' It can also start a fresh round of relationship, but don't count on that!

A real nasty one would be Who, though! "Who was that you were talking to?" "Who are you to tell me ____??" and ofcourse the final "Who are you? I don't know you!"

My point is, people who survive these questions and moderate their dose, go on to sustain and become Best Friends, Married couple, Business partners and who knows, form coalition governments!

Commitment, my friends, is a game of handling the questions right. And commitment phobia is in a lot of ways, just aversion to being answerable to someone! Doesn't have anything to do with selfishness or polygamist tendencies. Those can exist in even the happiest relationships and marriages of purpose or persons. O Henry has a lot of things to say about it, and so do I!

Deric, the Man!

Disclaimer: When I say 'the Man' it isn't a sexist thing. I mean a 'person who is living life to the fullest' or words to that meaning

Deric is a very interesting Ambassador for Couchsurfing Moscow! Wading through his enormous profile page, I came across the following stuff (borrowing without his permission, will tell him later when I know him well enough). It's amazing that one man did this all and well, isn't it inspiring!

Deric Says in the "One Amazing thing I've seen or Done" section:

Travel to all continents save Antarctica in one year. (2003)

Ride in front of the train on the Circum-Baikal Railway in the face of freezing autumn breezes for almost 2 hours. (2006)

Meet and ask questions to such world leaders as Eduard Shevardnadze, Mikhail Gorbachev, Mary Robinson and Angela Merkel. (1997-2001)

Go dog sledding on a frozen lake in Lapland. (2006)

Hear the whole 3-hr Orthodox Easter service (the works: matins, liturgy) at Novodevichy Monastery in Moscow. (2007)

Experience snow in Ifrane in the Middle Atlas in the morning, ride through rock desert in Ziz Valley through the day and see the sun set in a Berber camp in the Sahara 50 km from the Algerian border. (2002)

Do the merengue while sipping a mojito in Castro's Cuba. Witness the Easter procession in Trinidad, the only place in Cuba allowed to mark a Christian holiday apart from Christmas. (2005)

Hitch a ride going to and coming back from Selim Caravanseray between Aghavnadzor and Martuni in the the mountains of Vayots Dzor in southern Armenia - my first real HH experience. (2006)

Witness the signing of the Kyoto Protocol and scoop all news agencies in getting the Annex A percentage reductions in greenhouse gases. (1997)

Join a bloodless peaceful revolt to topple a dictator. (1986)

Catch an average of one sprat every seven minutes -24 in three hours of fishing- in the Black Sea. (2004)

Interview Miyazaki Hayao, the world's greatest anime master. (1997)

Go ice-hole swimming during Epiphany (Kreshchenie) in the Moscow Region. (2008)

Cover the 1998 Winter Olympics in Nagano as a reporter. (1998)

Stand astride with feet on both banks of the Volga at the river's source in Volgaverkhnye village in the Valdai Hills. (2006)

Snowboard in the Arctic Circle. (2005)

Pilot a riverboat on the Shannon River. (2002)
Serve as guide to Akutagawa Prize laureate Henmi Yo （辺見庸）in pursuing the historical trail of a cannibalistic Japanese postwar unit in northern Mindanao, which made up Chapter 6 “The Tragedy of Food in Mindanao Island” 「ミンダナオ島の食の 悲劇」 in his 16th Kodansha Non-Fiction Prize winning work, “People Who Eat”（もの食う人々） . (1992)
Get sloshed before the bulls run in Pamplona. (2002)
Survive a snowstorm in Kazbegi in early winter and get back to Tbilisi in time for my train back to Baku. (2006)
Ride a local train for six hours return between Rome & Naples just to eat la vera pizza neapolitana at Trianon. (2002)

Okay, that's more than one. This is as much as for me to remember as for you to know. :-P

'Wot Da Heck' after this, anyone??

Wassup in India?

Righteous indignation apart, check out this update on the situation in India:

Mail from me to a former colleague, Shri Areef Khan:

Khan Saab! Kya haal hai? How are things... khoob paisa waisa kamaa rahe ho ki nai? -KK

Khan Saab's response:

KK saab, yaha india mein aur india ka haal ye hai:

Inflation - 7%
Industrial production index - below 5%
Sensex - 15K (struggling)
Real Estate got screwed and is melting
Bullion is increasing
Commodities prices are increasing
Govt may impose Essential Commodities Act
RBI has hiked CRR rate

hum kya khaak aur ghanta paise banayenge??