A Hung Parliament Is Just A First World Problem

Take a deep breath Australia. A hung parliament, contrary to what the screaming headlines are telling you, isn’t the end of the world. We had the courage and patience to overcome this before and it will be done again. Look, I get it – your trepidation is understandable. A flooded road during rains is as far as we got towards a total breakdown in civilisation. In the context of things, Saturday’s results may appear a fit comparison to BREXIT or worse things like the Great Samoan upset of 2011. There is a reason why we are reacting like this. While we leisurely sip our filtered water, breathe in cleaner air than most of the world, watch our Super go up and chook prices go down, there may be a temptation to look at the prospect of a Prime Minister negotiating their way through the next legislative term as ‘totally apocalyptic’. You see, the problem lies in perspective. In a world where 30% of the population doesn’t even know what it’s like to own a toilet, Australians look at their politics and go, ‘crikey, why is God mercilessly punishing us like this’. What you are experiencing is a well-documented condition called ‘a first world problem’. It is a congenital condition that affects people who won the genetic lottery, but the good news is, you can cure yourself with periodic doses of facts, and plenty of perspective. Here’s a bit of both to help you get started.

• No, Australia isn’t going to lose its coveted AAA credit rating just because the election doesn’t have clear results. That’s like saying watching footy games can make you lose a job. It’s possible that you are too much into footy and miss work regularly, which is why you lost your job. But it’s not watching the footy, but the ‘missing work’ clue that dunnit. A minority government doesn’t automatically downgrade ratings. Its bland fiscal policies and runaway spending that will cause the glint to fade off our gilt-edged bonds. If the rating agencies downgrade us next week, it’s probably because the conditions already exist, not because the indecisive election somehow brought about an overnight change of heart and turned a rosy AAA outlook into junk credit. Did you see how the stock markets reacted on the Monday after the election? They went up. So did the Aussie. Go figure!
  
  
• No, Australia didn’t have a BREXIT moment. Australian elections and the BREXIT are apples and orang-utans - not even the same life form. Commentators and Bill Shorten use these analogies to get your attention, a bit like how teenage kids compare you to the worst thing that ever happened to them. Unless you are a convicted criminal of the worst kind, you know, they know and everybody knows that is just bollocks. BREXIT is a life changing event that unravelled a four decade old union. Australian elections come around every four years. Perspective, mate!
  
  
• Our politics may be messy, but there are worse things happening elsewhere on the globe. No, I am not talking about the political wastelands of the third world or people without toilets. Look at the UK, for example. Do you even know who’s captaining that ship? And don’t get me started on Trump! Cory Bernardi and Peta Credlin may want to see Turnbull get Ned-Starked for not having won 5 or 6 seats more, but hey, he’s just 5 or 6 seats short. I’m no Turnbull fan, but it seems to me that everyone is wildly over-reacting to what is essentially a win. A small win, perhaps. But a win, nevertheless. When the AEC rolls up its sleeves and counts the last postal ballot thirteen days from now, you may even find that Turnbull squeaked through with a simple majority. That may ‘weaken his authority‘, and the scorned few may get their daggers out, but even that isn’t a disaster by any measure.

It’s amusing for me to see all this hyperbole in the media since Saturday. We are a country known for daredevilry and unbridled excitement. But with our lives so predictable and sanitised, we need that extra dose of induced excitement. Which explains the desire to go swimming in the ocean during a storm and journalists plotting international kidnapping. I see this hyperventilation in the media about the hung parliament as a similar attempt to induce excitement into an otherwise boring affair. So, let’s all close our eyes, breathe in and out a few times to relax because what is happening in Australia is plain vanilla compared to even the rest of the Anglosphere, barring Canada. Wait, does anything ever happen in Canada at all? Perhaps, there lies our problem. We just don’t want to be Canada!

Nawaz Not-So Sharif and amnesia of democracies

It seems like yesterday when the Pakistani public, intelligentsia and international partners, basically a majority of the stakeholders in Pakistan, heaved a loud sigh of relief when Musharraf kicked Sharif miyan in the bollocks and seized power. Nawaz Sharif and his brother were reviled by all quarters for the culture of corruption, blatant power grab and attempts to undermine the other institutions of government. If it were not for the US' involvement in Pakistan, the Sharifs would have been shaheed by now. Yet, we read news this week that Nawaz Sharif is welcomed with open arms by Pakistanis and been given the reins of power again. Strangely, the world seems to be celebrating this momentous occasion.

What changed? There are several reports and opinions by analysts that Nawaz Sharif is a changed man and people are rewarding him for that change in him. What crap! No corrupt politician ever changes for good. The only thing that changed is, people are now tired of Zardari and his band of brothers playing musical chairs with the Prime Minister's post. The people looked around, and found a lesser evil lurking in the vicinity. Of course, there was Imran Khan too, but he was never a serious candidate. I mean, he is progressive and determined to bring a change. Who wants to elect a guy like that? The sheep never want change. They just want to nibble at the grass quietly, and wait for the their day of slaughter.

In electing Sharif back to power, the Pakistani electorate emulated other democracies across the world including the US, the UK, India, France etc. They stubbornly defied a third party's efforts to rise above the sludge and provide an alternative to the corruption genetically embedded into the major parties. They chose to go with the tried and tested instead of the relatively unknown. 'Ah, known devil', you can hear them murmur satisfactorily. 'Lesser evil', India said gladly. It still needs to be seen how Kayani reacts to this development. But he probably knew this was going to happen anyway. He must have kept aside a few nukes for the rainy day.

Here's what the choices looked like for Pakistanis in these elections:

Vote for one of the following:

1. Asif Two-Per-Cent Zardari
2. Nawaz not-so Sharif
3. Imran Khan, the wannabe
4. Total reversal in mental evolution, and going back to the dark ages

The electorate, as it appears, chose the option 4. Democracy, unfortunately, gives immense power to the lesser minds. When you have a right to choose, you ultimately deserve what you choose.

Study finds that sunlight is key to Car Sales

Suddenly, the Automobile industry is the barometer for the health of our economy. Business TV channels and nerdy Chartered Accountancy students no longer consider the stock market indices with semi-pornographic names like 'Bombay Sensex' as the indicators of economic progress in the country.

Stock markets are at all time high levels, but there's talk of
recession in the air!

Everybody knows the country's economy is sinking because no one is getting increments this year, even though every company, including that Jap company Maruti Suzuki which had a lockout for a whole month, made record profits this year. Employees have the unique opportunity to celebrate the tremendous financial success of their companies, while working 40 hours a week extra to keep their jobs in a company that's barely surviving this terrible downturn, all at the same time! It all comes down to automobile sales. The verdict is out now, and India is sinking fast, slowly waving its diamond and gold studded hand like a tragic clown in a Raj-Kapoorian tragedy.

I got all this insight from a 'research report' by some enthusiastic analysts who, through some clever statistical trickery and excel charts, found that the automobile sales in the country seemed to have a 'strong correlation' with Sensex. After reading that, I laid down arms and surrendered to enemy forces because the Zenoian paradox this presented. Here are the facts:

1. Fact 1: Stock markets are soaring and are touching nearly the all time highs that they saw in late 2010, feeding on news of record profits and excellent prospects ahead.
2. Fact 2: Automobile sales are falling like old men crossing the street in 'Road Rage' video game. (Remember Road Rage? No? God, I must be getting really old!) Auto sales have shown a year-on-year decline for several months and it is a clear indication that there are bad days ahead.
3. Fact 3: Our genius research agency finds that there's a strong 'positive' correlation between stock markets and  the automobile sales.

After the initial onset of bafflement-induced coma, I decided to find a solution to this paradox so that Zeno can rest in peace. In my search for the solution, I stumbled upon a purely random set of data on http://www.india.climatemps.com/ that cleared the fog and opened my eyes. Here it is:

Average Sunlight hours/day in India by month

I didn't cook up these numbers folks. You can go and check out the link I gave above. This data is real! And it so happens, that this trend also has a strong correlation with the car sales in the country. Such a strong correlation that the trend lines look totally in love and almost inseparable! And in that, lies our solution, my friends!

Car Sales and Average Sunlight lines look like they want
to have Sensex right now!

The sunshine hours per day, apparently, exclude when we have a cloud cover in June and July and all those stupid monsoon months. So, here's how we can save the economy:

1. If we somehow manage to have a bad monsoon, by divine intervention or nuclear action, we can have more sunshine per day

2. Also, if we banish a few states in the North where the winter nights are longer, like Jammu and Kashmir, Uttarakhand, Punjab, Haryana and Uttar Pradesh, we can have more sunshine. Actually, in Haryana and Uttar Pradesh's case, there's more than one reason to banish them. The very fact that they are no longer in our Union will bring more sunshine in our lives!

3. Alternatively, if we somehow persuade Sri Lanka to join India, in spite of the free nuclear reactors they are getting from China, there can be some hope.

4. Since there is at least one instance of Sun God making an unseasonable appearance to impregnate Kunti, some of our enterprising movie actresses may give it a try in the larger national interests

All in all, my analysis proves that there is an urgent need to increase average sunlight per day in India. Otherwise, our economy is doomed and all of us will have to protest outside the F1 circuit like the Kingfisher employees!

Creation as per Manu Smriti

The subject and the situation compelled me to blog after a long time. Lately, I started reading the much maligned Manu Smriti - the laws of Manu - that governed the social conduct of ancient Hindus. Manu Smriti, recited by Vaivasvata Manu and his descendant Bhrigu, is famous or should I say, notorious, for first encoding the caste system that continues to be a significant part of the Indian society and is the favorite punching bag for the rationalists, the discriminated and the illuminati. While I have no opinion about casteism at this moment, (Edit: I have since formed strong anti-caste opinions) I found Manu Smriti to be very revealing about 'creation' as per Hinduism, which is just an interesting side effect.

Being an avid fan of liberalism, particularly the American version of it, I really never cared for 'creationism', the Christian way or the Hindu way or any other religion's way. While I find the Biblical creationism to be highly creative, my impression of Hindu Creationism too is not a really favorable one. I mean, there's not much clarity in Hindu texts about creation, really. Overzealous religious wonks will always tell you that you are not qualified to ask that question. Thankfully, Rig Veda, the oldest Hindu text leaves it open for you to figure out.

Who really knows, and who can swear,
How creation came, when or where!
Even gods came after creation’s day,
Who really knows, who can truly say
When and how did creation start?
Did He do it? Or did He not?
Only He, up there, knows, maybe;
Or perhaps, not even He.

— Rig Veda 10.129.1-7

And then one gets to hear the story of the supreme creator Brahma being born in a lotus hanging from Vishnu's belly button, raising serious questions about divine hygiene, among other things. Which is why, after they teach you Charles Darwin's Evolution theory in school, pretty much every Hindu moves on to Darwinism and relegates the Brahma story to the children's section. An estimated 77% Hindus unconditionally believe in Darwin's theory of evolution as per studies. The balance, I'm sure, need some elementary schooling.

Creationism in Hinduism isn't a popular concept too. It is not a debated topic at all. Just the subject of idle intellectualisation, such as this blog. It also doesn't help that there are multiple scriptures in Hindusim and each explains Creation with varying detail and sometimes with conflicting interpretation. There's an excellent Wiki article that explains the conflict.

Manu Smriti, the leading authority on Hindu social laws, has some clarity about Creation, and I found it most appealing of all. I'm summarizing what Vaivasvata Manu says about Creation here because I found it to be interesting, and somewhat reconcilable to the evolution theory and the Big Bang. (I'm not well-versed with Sanskrit, so I had to rely on a translation of Manu Smriti by M G Hariharan.)

As with most Hindu texts, Manu says that Universe evolved from nothing. There was nothing before creation, not even God. Some Hindu texts differ on this aspect, but most conform. Rig Veda, as mentioned above, has no theory about it at all. When Manu says nothing, he means literally nothing.

"...unperceived, destitute of distinctive marks, unattainable by reasoning, unknowable, wholly immersed, as it were, in deep sleep...."

And from that 'unperceivable state of nothing', all of a sudden, emerged the 'Swambhu' (the self-creating God) with an irresistible power, creating the great elements with its emergence while quickly occupying / dispelling the 'nothingness'. The 'great elements' are the Earth (mass in solid state), Water (liquid state), Air (gaseous state), Fire (energy, a property of mass) and Vacuum (absence of mass).

Does this remind you of the Big Bang theory yet? Although the Big Bang does not and can not explain the initial state - 'what existed before the Big Bang' - the idea that there was nothing, and a self-initiating sequence led to creation isn't in conflict with that theory. For instance, the theory of particle-antiparticle can explain the state of nothingness evolving into what it is today.

Manu then proceeds to explain the creation of life. He says that the God shone forth with self-illumination. Again, my mind can't help associating this with the Big Bang. God then proceeded to create waters to place his seed in it to form a brightly lit golden egg. Brahma is said to have resided in the egg for an year (1 Brahma day/night cycle equals 864,000 human years. So 1 Brahma year = 315.36 million human years) At last, on his own Brahma, the progenitor of the universe, emerged from the egg. This is a significant observation in my opinion. A single cell that gave birth to the Universe as it exists, aided by God or not, is not an observation science would want to dismiss as 'hocus pocus'. The 'single egg in water' as the source of life conforms to Darwin's theory of evolution that life originated from single cell organisms in water.. A different interpretation can be that the egg represents the primeval atom that matter consisted of in the initial phases of Big Bang.

Manu smriti also mentions six minute particles of matter that embed themselves into the consciousness of God to form bodies (matter). This concept, again, can be reconciled to the presence of elementary particles of matter, though the number differs from what science believes today.

After this, Manu smriti launches into Creation schedule headlong, describing how God then proceeded to create the more specific features of the world, like the oceans and the trees etc., along with emotions associated with consciousness. He also created the class of deities that goven action in universe. He also drew forth the Vedas from fire, water and Sun.

It is interesting to note that in Hinduism, all creations of emotions are made in pairs. That is, cancelling emotions - such as pain and pleasure, merit and demerit. This is again, in conformity with the nature of the Universe. Particle and anti-particle, matter and anti-matter, galaxies and the blackholes etc.

The most significant part of the Hindu creationist theory is the division of Brahma into male and female. Though this aspect is given but a scant mention, this forms the base for creation. Just like the pairs of opposites created by the God, He Himself is a composite of the opposite genders - male and female - which He proceeds to reveal to aid Creation. Applying this to the Darwinist theory, binary fission of the single cell organism is the most likely explanation to evolution. Though gender evolved much later in the evolution chain, as per Darwin, the basic principle of a common single-cell ancestor is widely accepted. Creation as per Manu smriti can be interpreted to have strains of similar theory, though not necessarily the same.

The two gender halves of Brahma procreate to produce Viraj, the supreme being who then creates Manu using tapas. Manu is the offspring of Brahma, as per Manu smriti, and is the progenitor of the whole human species. From this point on, Manu smriti differs wildly from the theory of Evolution. Manu smriti talks of all species as evolved beings created in their current form and shape, which as we know now, isn't just true. Manu smriti moves on to other topics quickly from here on, but whatever brief mention to Creation was given, I found things to be interesting enough to stop and ponder.

Frankly speaking, there is no evidence of smiliarity between Manu smriti and the Darwinist theory of evolution except the interpretative opinion about the single cell common ancestor. But hey, it can't be ruled out that this is a valid interpretation and there is a possibility that Manu employed metaphor to speculate about both the Big Bang and Evolution in as few words as possible. Within whatever I read, I found that this theory of creation is much closer to the scientific explanation than any other theory put forward by major religions.

May be it warrants closer inspection and debate?

You can read the entire translated Manu smriti here.

K C Chakrabarty should find 'some other place' too

If the Chairman of India's largest bank is not allowed to debate with the overlords of RBI without getting publicly humiliated, how can a minnow NBFC from Kerala dare to raise its voice against irrational regulation? Last week, the incredulous skirmish between RBI and SBI reminded Indian bankers of the dark days of the past century. K. C. Chakrabarty, the loose mouthed Deputy Governor of RBI, asked the Chairman of SBI  Pratip K Chaudhari to find 'some other place' for making a perfectly reasonable suggestion about the Cash Reserve Ratio. Chakrabarty clearly does not believe in free speech and respectful debate. Instead, he disrespectfully dismissed views that he himself supported in the past and managed to deal yet another blow to morale of the lenders in the country.

Pratip Chaudhary, in his first major action in current office, rolled back his predecessor's attempts to persist with hybrid mortgage loans in defiance of RBI's diktat. Chaudhari candidly reasoned then, that he didn't want to be on a 'collision course' with RBI. Evidently, it doesn't take RBI too long to find alternative paths to collide with bankers in spite of the latter's reluctance.

The latest incident reveals how job creators in the country are persistently snubbed by the regulators like Chakrabarty, who have little stakes in the success or failure of the economy. Such pseudo-bureaucrats are still living in a Nehruvian era, where the relationship between regulator and industry is that of a master-servant. In fact, Chakrabarty regularly uses language such as 'the supervised and the supervisor', revealing his intentions to lord over the bank Chairmen he is 'supervising'. In his attempts to rub his imagined intellectual and hierarchical superiority on the 'supervised', the Deputy Governor is irreparably hurting the economy by thwarting credit growth and job creation.

Not one to shy away from providing yet another belligerent sound byte to the cameras, Chakrabarty has just in the past few weeks cautioned commercial banks against lending to the critical infrastructure sector, declared boldly that it is not RBI's job to help banks reach their priority sector lending targets and gave a ridiculous call for a 'socio-cultural revolution' in the country to reduce gold buying. The tragedy of the whole thing is, each of his statements is causing panic in job-creating sectors, dealing blows to an edgy economy with little credit flow and support from the Government. Only a delusional being from another planet would criticise the growth of infrastructure credit even in a developed country, leave alone an under-resourced country like India.

Chakrabarty's hard line posturing against his favourite topic - gold and the gold loan NBFCs - has already caused the RBI to issue irrational regulations, denying a large amount of credit to small business owners and farmers. He doesn't hide his contempt for a sector which supplies more than Rs.25,000 crores of small ticket secured credit to people with no access to bank finance. Most borrowers use the proceeds of this instant form of credit for temporary working capital in their business or agriculture, pawning their precious possessions for short term. RBI's aggressive regulation of NBFCs in this sector is hurting a lot of small borrowers.

The rapid expansion of gold loan industry also created thousands of jobs in a stagnant market and created a cascading job-creating effect, boosting local economies. RBI has already thwarted this growth by over-regulating the organized lenders, indirectly boosting the usurious practices of pawn brokers who still dominate over 50% of the gold loan industry. RBI is blind to the fact that organized gold loan business is meeting the same fate that microfinance in AP is facing. The small borrower and the job-seeker are the eventual victims of this unnecessary regulatory activism.

In spite of Chakrabarty's preposterous appeal to change Indians' gold-buying habits, the yellow metal still remains a very popular small investment vehicle and the prime choice for jewellery. It is not very far back in the past that economists of several countries appealed for a gold standard for currency during the 2009 economic crisis. That may be an extreme step, but dismissing gold as a worthless metal with no 'intrinsic value' is the talk of an out-of-touch man, desperate for headlines. Indians will continue to buy gold in spite of Chakrabarty's alternative universe , but won't be able to fully use it for temporary cash needs, because of RBI's actions.

Chakrabarty, and his brand of vigilante regulation has to go if this country is to see better times soon. Otherwise RBI, whose primary job is to aid healthy growth of the economy and not to lord over the industry, will spend all its time dealing with distractions like Nero while India burns. Already, there is a near freeze in credit growth in the country, and Chakrabarty is burning midnight oil to find ways to demoralise lenders further. He should urgently be shown 'some other place', and that place should be far away from TV cameras.

A wake up call called Truth

Very few 'stars' can live up to the kind of hype that Aamir Khan creates for his products. Very few can pull it off too, like Aamir did with Satyameva Jayate. The veteran actor managed to not just live up to the carefully constructed expectations of his debut on the idiot box, he even managed to moist a few eyes and deflect attention from himself to a burning issue that we all want to conveniently forget.

Satyameva Jayate attempts to break away from the familiar 'Bollywood' mould of talk shows on TV and sets out to bring something else to the table - Reality. No it isn't simulated reality like Big Boss or phony toughness of Roadies. Aamir's brand of reality is stark, hard hitting and gut wrenching. This is the kind of reality we desperately avoid by installing sound proof glasses in our bedroom windows and gazing the other way at each traffic signal. In spite of our best efforts, it is hard to escape this kind of truth.

Yes, there are people who still run away from it. It is just a TV show after all - you can always change the channel! I can picture a fictional, cola-guzzling, overweight, middle-aged gentleman changing the channel with disappointment after the first 5 minutes. 'Yeh kya kar raha hai? Entertainment kidhar hai?' he says aloud and moves on to a dance show where every contestant is hailed as the 'next big thing' by the mediocre judge who couldn't dance to save his life. Our middle-aged Patron needs monkeys on his TV, dancing to the tunes of his subscription of two hundred and thirty rupees for the satellite TV. All he wants is a few laughs and ample cleavage. But when he gets a call from his daughter in the dead of the night that his grand daughter has been killed by her own father, reality hits him so hard that every fat cell in his bloated existence shakes with the shock.

Those of us who avoid meeting reality by living at least eight stories above the level where the nauseating stench of visceral truth stops rising, it just managed to seep into our living rooms through a Bollywood star's talk show. The grotesque images of a mutilated face, the brutal savagery of a highly educated 'upper class' grand mother, the tears and the astonishment of a studio audience which is simultaneously excited to see a 'Star' and hit with a 10,000 volt electric shock called truth....we needed a master story teller to make us see the truth.

'What's new about this show?' my mom said. 'There were a lot of shows like this. Kiran Bedi had a show like this too. A lot of people tried to highlight these issues too.'

I said, 'The only difference is, even I'm watching the show because Aamir Khan's hosting it.' Satyameva Jayate isn't just about Aamir Khan. It is about how truth always triumphs. But it helps that Aamir is hosting the show. He didn't need to do this, but his presence elevated the issues right away.

I'm an unabashed Aamir fan, just like I'm a shameless sucker for all-things-Sachin. But I pride in myself being as objective as I can when I critique their performances. I feel the best tribute to performers of Aamir and Sachin's class is being unbiased about them. When Aamir Khan steps out to perform, he doesn't aim to just entertain the masses. He aims to make a deeper connection than that, and create a lasting impact in the process.

So, we cried a bit when we saw it today for one hour. And sent an SMS immediately pledging our support to the cause. We have a plane to catch early in the morning tomorrow, so let's get over with the Sunday ritual of dining out and high-street shopping early. Truth always wins, but we also celebrate the fact that Aamir Khan wore the same Titan Orion watch on the show that is lying on the couch at that very moment. What a coincidence!

This City Needs a New Lift

I went to Kiran's place last night. There are always these little changes you notice, like it or not, when you visit the places where you grew up. I spent the later part of my teens hanging around my friend Kiran's Mayuri Marg flat in Hyderabad and for a few of us lads, the place is second home. The apartments are just the same even after all these years, only there are always a few more cars in the space where kids used to bicycle around and play cricket. And every year I come back, the approach road seems narrower than I remember. In reality, it remained the same size always; my own horizon kept expanding making it seem smaller.

There are two new changes to Kiran's house this time. One of them was the spanking new elevator his building has. The old elevator, RIP, was an institution in its own right. It used to work only half the time, and just a split second after you open the grill shutter, a voice recording of a rather shrill female commanded you to close it. 'PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR', she would shriek into your unsuspecting ears before you even opened the door properly. The angry lady almost made the elevator seem alive. She was the soul trapped behind the metal shutters, eternally upset at you for violating her peace and harmony.

When I got into the new elevator, I experienced mixed emotions. The body has changed, but its soul survived. The female voice continues to urge you to shut its door. Only, it sounds mellow and uncharacteristically polite. For a moment, I missed the angry lady of old lift. Kiran has a lovely daughter now (that's the second change) and a new generation of kids play in the cracks between the cars these days. Nobody wants them to inherit a dysfunctional lift and if you force it upon them, the kids will go away when they grow up. I realised that the arrival of kids makes people amenable to change and even inanimate things refresh themselves in celebration. The spanking new elevator and the bubbly girl who gladly jumped into my arms brightened my mood and I was celebrating the renewed vigour of the place. I told Kiran that I was going to write about the new lift.

And for past few days that I spent in Hyderabad, I have been mulling over something related to this emotion. Unlike Kiran's house, the city is persisting with its old lift. The soul seems long dead. I remember, when the city suddenly shot itself into national limelight in the nineties, with all the new industry and the flyovers. The roads were suddenly clean, the administration was working overtime to please the citizens. There were awards every year and there was a character to the city; there was a clear sense of pride which reflected in its people. I have seen so many small companies springing up around me, and most of them are large enterprises now. People felt more confident and when we travelled to other places, dwellers of other cities asked us about the transformation stories of Hyderabad.

There seem to be very few causes for such collective celebrations anymore, even if individuals live contended lives with personal successes. The society seems disinterested in these trifles. The old roads are tired of carrying more and more traffic. I saw a new sewer drain overflow every day in the Punjagutta to Motinagar stretch. The dirty roads almost represented the bruised soul of the city.  New roads are getting built and mega mall spaces are springing up every month. But I see the deterioration in the small things. Bylanes are dug up everywhere and badly patched. Parking on roads is unrestricted. No biker wears a helmet and no one is mindful of traffic police when travelling on the wrong side of the road. Two miniscule religious places of my childhood encroached brazenly on to the roads to become much larger and no one seems to care. The city has become a small town in its mind again. And it doesn't make national news anymore, except for the incidents like the destruction on Tank bund.

I was disappointed. This city needs a new lift, just like Kiran's house. May be it will cost the citizens a bit more, emotionally and financially. But if its soul is not brought back to life soon, the kids will move away to other places when they grow up.

The non-existent mosque at Ground Zero

My response to Shobha Narayan's column in Mint Lounge:

http://www.livemint.com/2010/09/09210030/A-mosque-near-Ground-Zero-will.html

I read with great interest your column “The Good Life” dated September 11, 2010, regarding the ‘mosque’ near Ground Zero. I claim to be no authority on the issue myself and having never stepped foot on the hallowed ground where this debate is raging, I don’t have first hand emotions about the subject. However, I have been reading extensively about the ‘mosque’ in the online media and blogosphere and I differ with your analysis.

I’ll begin with your closing comments - “But let’s not call it a mosque. Let’s call it a memorial; a cultural center...”

Why do you want to call it a ‘mosque’ at all? Ever since it was conceived, the Park51 project was always called an Islamic cultural center by Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf and the Cordoba community in the media releases, print, online and TV appearances. The proposal is to build a culinary school, gym and basketball court, swimming pool, a Sept. 11 memorial and contemplation space, and a prayer hall (mosque) intended to be run separately from Park51 but open to and accessible to all members, visitors and New York community.

Park51 project is to be “dedicated to pluralism, service, arts and culture, education and empowerment, appreciation for our city and a deep respect for our planet.” Repeatedly calling it a ‘mosque’ (and just that) is only rousing the false notions of a victory monument for Islam right at the Ground Zero. Oh, but it isn’t at the Ground Zero too! It is two blocks away from the Ground Zero, which is a few hundred meters away from it. And there is already a full fledged mosque four blocks from Ground Zero. It would be wrong to assume that all mosques are symbols of radical Islam and terrorism.

Coming to Obama’s comments at the White House Iftar, he took the correct position required of the Chief Executive charged with defending the constitution of a country. He also clarified within a day that he never commented on the wisdom of building a mosque there, which he leaves to the local community. To insinuate from this all that he lost his ability to judge the pulse of people is carrying it a bit too far. People who are defending the Park51 project, over a million muslim Americans living in the tristate area and millions of muslim Americans elsewhere are also ‘people’ of America. If the President thinks that he should stand up for them, it isn’t sudden inexplicable alienation. Let us not forget that Obama is a Nobel laureate acknowledged for his efforts to bridge the Islam-West rift after Sept 11. It may be an unpopular thing to do, but not the wrong thing.

Mosque or not, the objectives of the founders of this Project appear crystal clear. They want to showcase moderate Islam as the mainstream to the world and remind the New Yorkers and the visitors to the Ground Zero that the enemy isn’t Islam; the enemy is the radical streak that still runs amok in each society, sometimes causing extensive damage to the very fabric that holds humanity together. In the current case, the radical streak is the bigoted Pastor who wanted to burn the Quran in retaliation. The radical streak is represented by the fearmongers who vilify Islam as a whole for actions of a few. Just because Adolf Hitler was Catholic, the Pope doesn’t become a Nazi.

If an Imam in India were to propose a Memorial in the Taj hotel, there will always be bigots who would want to oppose it just because the 26/11 terrorists were muslim. May be we will never see Hindus and Sikhs living happily in Pakistan in our life time. Saudi Arabia possibly will never allow for a Church in the Kingdom. But that is what differentiates democratic, plural societies from the rest. The day we let go of the tolerance that brings us together, we leave a hole in the society large enough for opportunists to push their selfish interest through.

It’s true the surveys have found that two thirds of New York wants the Park51 project elsewhere. But elaborate elections, and not just surveys, have also proved that an overwhelming majority of Gujarat supported Modi’s conduct through the riots. That never prevented level-headed people in India from condemning his deliberate inaction when people were getting butchered. The Central Government never stopped itself from trying to bring the culprits to book because half of them went on to win elections with record margins. Influenced by all the frenzy whipped up by opportunists and bigots, if Obama or Bloomberg too sing along the popular opinion, there will be no sane voice left to remind people of their core values.

I will quote Chalston Heston here, from his momentous speech at the NRA convention in 1997 at Denver. Denver, freshly scarred from the Columbine shootings, overwhelmingly demanded that NRA go away as it saw the gun lobby as the villain. Charlston Heston received personal messages asking him to get out and he responded with an appeal befitting a statesman:

“...This cycle of tragedy-driven hatred must stop. Because so much more connects us than that which divides us. And because tragedy has been and will always be with us. Somewhere right now evil people are planning evil things. All of us will do everything meaningful, everything we can do to prevent it. But each horrible act can't become an axe for opportunists to cleave the very bill of rights that binds us. America must stop this predictable pattern of reaction, when an isolated terrible event occurs, our phones ring demanding that the NRA explain the inexplicable. Why us? Because their story needs a villain. They want us to play the heavy in their drama of packaged grief. To provide riveting programming to run between commercials for cars and cat food. The dirty secret of this day and age is that political gain and media ratings all too often bloom on fresh graves....”

If you replace ‘NRA’ with ‘Muslims’ in the above paragraph, you will get my drift. It holds true not just for America but for India too.

Stinging Sensation

When Nidhi told me that she had two spare passes for Rekha Bhardwaj's show at Bandra last evening, I was actually thrilled. I knew Mamata would like it too, so I prepared myself for a soulful evening with friends and my fiance. I mean, Rekha Bhardwaj is no lightweight, right? She had just a few hits. Two, three may be? All bollywood songs. The reportedly chart busting 'Ishqa Ishqa' album of hers was virtually unheard of outside the pretentious artloving circles. But she registered with every bollywood buff with her unique voice and superior skills at executing folk songs.

Little wonder, that I felt bad when I thought I was getting late for the show and eventually when we got to the venue, we found ourselves rather uncomfortable spots to stand on. No seats, I was trying to say. The show was oversold! To cut the story short, it was an evening filled with anticipation all around.

As the evening moved on to its first leg, I was a little surprised to see the MC dressed in denims for a sufi/folk nite. He made a very feeble attempt to thank the rajasthani folk group that opened the evening. It felt out of sync with the expectations from the evening.

And when Rekha finally took stage and started rolling out her numbers, the crowd readied itself for a magical evening of sufi nazms and folk classics. Oh, when I say 'the crowd', I was referring to the music lovers in the crowd and not the Page 3 types who mostly filled the front benches. Not just the Page 3 types, the bollywood sent over its representatives too.

You see, that was the whole problem with the evening. It wasn't music. It was bollywood. Rekha Bhardwaj belied expectations and made a spectacular fool of herself. She can stick to studio singing and yelling at the sound manager to crank up the monitor a bit when she feels bad about her own voice. She will take time graduating to 'enthralled-the-crowds-with-a-mesmerising-performance' act. For now, she's just bollywood. The front benches blissfully tapped feet throughout the mediocre renditions of songs that sounded much better on CDs. Male celebrities with long locks fanatically shook their heads and the female ones moved rythmically from side to side offering glimpses of their botoxed profiles to the back benchers. Apart from that, there was no visible or audible proof to say the evening meant anything to anyone at all.

While Rekha herself was brilliant in patches and boring for the most part, the accompanying artists were holding their own in individual capacities. Not even Vishal Bhardwaj's occasional hand signals could wean them away from showing off their mastery at their trades. And it all meant that the cacophony of malformed medleys damaged the little credibility Rekha started building for herself from the third song onwards. The much maligned Mark, the man manning the sound machine made the band sound like a cheap marriage-band orchestra. After 'Emosanal Atyachar' even marriage bands earned a new respect for themselves, so I'm not sure if they would induct 'Aziza' into their exalted company. Aziza is the name given to the evening by the well meaning Rekha.

I was surprised at the efforts TOI group put in organizing the eveinng. Ofcourse, they were promoting their new weekend edition 'Crest' aimed at expanding their Page 3 to 24 pages. Pooja Gupta, who was behind the marketing initiative herself qualified the evening with a non-commital 'Thanks Rekha. That was spiritual!' comment. Pooja then went on to make her case for a promotion with the Editorial Director, the reclusive JoJo, but that is just a side story.

I returned home incensed with the amount of mediocrity, commercialism, hypocrisy, sycophancy and also the lack of space to sit until the last 2 minutes of the show. I told Mamata that true art doesn't have a place in bollwood. There are corners in Indian cinema and music scene where true art exists. But not in the mainstream. Evenings like this are snobbish affairs parading as art partonage. I would think twice before attending such events in future.

The Myth of Democracy

Monarchies are long gone and democracy rules! The common man must be really celebrating, yeah? He's governing his own life now, dictating policies and feels more secure in his life.

I must be joking!

There are very few countries in the world, even among ones with higher political consciousness and standards of living, where a majority of people get a sense of being in control of their country. If democracy is such a wonderful form of government, why should we complain?

Going through the grind of the Great Indian Tamasha of Elections this year, I get this familiar feeling of helplessness and a sense of vairagyam. I have an arm-chair opinion about it all. Particularly about the effectiveness of democracy and the farce of it all.

I was recently studying the vote shares and poll percentages of various parties in the state of Andhra Pradesh, India. Check out this statistic.

• In the Year 1999, Congress party had a vote share of 42.79% of the Voters in the State. TDP, its main rival had a share of 39.85% on its own and 47.75% together with its then ally BJP.
  

• In 2004, the fortunes reversed and Congress with its allies had a vote share of 47.39% and TDP+ had 40.15%.

No major swings, eh? 5% extra for Congress and 7% lesser for TDP. But guess what! In 1999, inspite of polling almost 43% of the votes, the Congress party had only 5 Lok Sabha seats out of 42! And TDP allies had a total of 36 seats.

With a mere swing of 5% votes in its favour five years later, the Congress party won 35 out of 42 seats in 2004. Just 1 out of 20 voters extra, mind you!! A mere 1 out of 20 statistic, that tilted the scales massively in favour of the opposing party. The rest 19 guys, sort of stuck to their preferences, give or take 1. And fortunes changed!

I have been giving this quite a lot of thought lately. Is Democracy a failed form of governance? Is the interpretation of Democracy through one liners given out by great orators like Abraham Lincoln pushing us into delusion and a false sense of control over our affairs?

If you rip apart the fabric that shrouds this seemingly simple system of people empowerment, you'll notice that there are several inherent failings. Low voting percentages, corruption, ballot rigging, crime all combine to ensure that only a minority 5-10% of the population really decides who weilds power. And this holds a larger danger for multi-party democracies like India and lesser for bi-party systems, although it seems on the surface that multi-party systems are more democratic because they promote individual choice.

I'm more and more inclined to believe that a strictly federal state, with local self-governance and capitalist economy with strong labour unions (or ample scope for socialistic armed rebellion) is the only solution for true power to majority!

Why local governments with low influences are preferable:

62 years of self-governance later, India is still finding its feet on a lot of issues. Social issues, primarily. Forget terrorism, it is only visible and falsely appears topmost on the priority due to its direct impact on life and property. I feel corruption is a much larger, more potent malaise in this country. Successive governments have come to power with promises to curb corruption. And all of them... mind you, ALL of them have had allegations of corruption against them, with most investigations still resting in the dusty cupboards of puppet show inquiry commissions.

If common man really has a say - and I'm sure more than 50% of this country's people would want an end to the corruption problem - why didn't this end already? If democracy is such a wonderful tool, why are we even having those TV debates with the clamouring clan of pseudo intellectuals and arm chair revolutionaries? If a majority of people in this country want an end to corruption, why not vote against it and put an end to it once for all!

"If you don't want corruption anymore, send an sms to 12345 and let's kick it out of the game right now!"

Let me clarify here. I'm not against Democracy. I'm not a supporter of military takeover or dynastical rule. I have a problem with the current form of democracy in the Indian context. And that is what I'm trying to discuss now.

Check this. The Grand Old Party of US - the Republican Party - has a basic principle about governance - Small Government.

If the size of government in India were much smaller, that is, except for the key strategic areas such as Defence, Space research, Healthcare etc., if the Government were to exit all the other areas and leave them to private ownership...

If we cut the size of the Government's influence in our lives...

If we move away from making governments our big daddies, to make them our paid servants charged with protecting us and taking care of general welfare and solving disputes etc...

... with effective regulation for other sectors ofcourse. Or we will repeat what happened in America.

The more protectionist and interventionist Governments get, the more they control our lives. If we believe in the basic rule that a voter intelligent enough to put someone else in charge of his life, can be entrusted with the responsibility to govern his own life effectively, we will go a long way in encouraging free and fair advancement of society.

We should believe in the concept that Governments are mere instruments of ensuring a societal overview. And certainly not leadership of the society. Leaders rise naturally from grass roots to influence the society around them. Business, Science, Arts, Religion... this is where leaders exist. If we deny leadership opportunities in politics and governance, may be we will have lesser number of people telling us what to do? After all, if I'm not interested in Science I wouldn't give a damn to what Albert Einstein wants to say about Quantum Physics. But I don't have a choice when it comes to following the rules set by Shivraj Patil in tailored suits!

It is easy to say, if we have a smaller government, it will result in anarchy. I bet some of you have already said it while reading this. I would say, Switzerland. Large country example? US itself. How about its economy then? Hey, South Eastern countries are socialist, for crying out loud! That didn't prevent them from falling into the pit thrice within the last decade!

The Eternal Hope Engine and A Billion Opinions About It

There was a story in my school curriculum, in seventh or eighth standard, called 'The New Blue Dress". The story was about a shabby little girl who went to school everyday in a tattered dress, unwashed face and unkempt hair. It was not her fault ofcourse, as she came from the poorest house in the gloomiest part of a town filled with unpainted houses, broken fences and dirty, glum faces. One day the little girl's teacher took pity and gifted her a new blue dress so that she can look a little better. The girl wore the new dress when she went home and her mother realised that there was some potential in her after all! So she washed her face, brushed and made a little bow with a ribbon in her hair. The father saw what a pretty little girl he’s got in a very dirty house, so he decided to wash himself too, clean the house a bit and paint the fence as spring was around the corner. Seeing the bright new fence , the neighbours were ashamed at their own dirt and got down to cleaning their houses. What followed was an amazing transformational revolution not just in that neigbourhood, but the entire country when people woke up to what can be better and brought back the light into their lives, one face at a time.

Ah, what a silly romantic story! Is such a thing possible in real life? Yes it is, says the eternal hope engine. What I just told you is a true story of human interest that took place in the US in aftermath of the Great Depression. Of a tiny seedling in a vast barren land, metaphorically speaking. So easy to be ignored, so easy to be snuffed out in its bud. But it was a remarkable change brought about in a neighbourhood by just a pretty blue dress.

Yes, you guessed it right. This piece is about the hope given to us by Obama. And after the one billion opinions you heard so far from everyone and his mamma about his victory, I would like to contribute my two kopecks of opinion too.

When Obama spoke of the audacity of hope, I’m sure even he would not have believed in what he could achieve. I followed his campaign closely for the past one year through online press, TV programs, opinions of talk show hosts etc. and it was clear that even until the last day, not many people could totally believe in his hope. The sheer audacity of this hope of a young, inexperienced, little known black man, a first time Senator from the state of Abraham Lincoln was difficult to digest and seemed almost like a fairy tale to many. For all the hype about his rise to the top job in the world, and the counter views you hear about it, one has to give it to him for doing what he did. No I’m not talking about just the election he won. He lighted a beacon of hope for millions of young people across the world who lost their will to change the way their countries are ruled. Politics, unfortunately, had become synonymous with crime, corruption, power games and irrationality. Not anymore. Politics is now possible for you and me, if you want to put your ideas into action. Obama has shown to the world that to achieve such a dream, you have to step out of your apathy and believe in hope. That’s a pretty easy formula, isn’t it? For all of you who thought you can never do it, he’s standing there and telling you that there is hope. Yes, there is a chance of only one in a million, but hey, there is a chance. Here is a man who stood up to show you that the chance exists and it is indeed possible. And if you cling on long enough to that chance, who knows!

I am talking about ‘hope’ and not Obama because if Obama fails as a leader and pushes the world further into chaos, you can still call his a story of success. Not just because we belong to a different country and we have our own little lives to live. It is because he’s given us a weapon for combating the evils of the modern times. You may protest, ‘Oh he has a lot to do. It isn’t over yet. Only if he is successful as a President will he validate his success.’ You may cringe at the silliness of my opinion that hope has won its war even if the promises can’t be delivered.

I want that hope! When I wake up in the morning everyday I have to fight the divisive politics of regionalism, the hate of religious radicals, the cancer of corruption, the impotence of the police system, the heinous reality of caste and above all my own apathy to these things. I don’t have a clue how to get into this fight. I don’t have a plan for convincing myself for this cause. I don’t have the money, nor the time, not even the capability to be another Obama. Yet, I want to cling to the hope he has given to a billion others like me. I want the euphoria of his victory to translate into a revolution of thought in my country. I want to raise my voice for change too, and I want to be a part of the change we want.

What Obama had done is to rekindle that hope among the youth of the world. When generations of power-hungry politicians systematically destroyed the power that young people can wield, a retired old man raised his voice and brought about a revolution in the seventies in our own country. Jaya Prakash Narayan is a forgotten hero, because the governments he built failed. What he has done is, he has given hope to the country to build an alternative to the dynastical rule plaguing the country then. The young people who raised their voice at that time are shaping the country’s destiny now. Six out of the last nine Prime Ministers of India are products of the Jaya Prakash Narayan revolution.

Where is that hope now? How many leaders today rose through genuine grassroots movements and student unions? How many new MPs today even have an idealogical agenda? Most of the young leaders who want to lead us in the 21st century are sons and daughters of yesteryear politicians. They carry surnames heavier than their credentials and demand their right to rule over you with their birth certificates as resume. We need a revolution in the country that cries out against dynasties. We need hope that we can change this. We need to be able to believe that when we step out in the street to raise our voices, no bigot with a stone in hand dares to question our right to protest against the Gandhis, the Yadav families, the Abdullahs, the Thackerays, the Chautalas and numerous others who want to bring back royalty into this country. I want hope that I can make a difference to the political will of this country and change the way we govern ourselves. I want that new blue dress in my life and yours too!

Socrates' Wife

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.."

– Socrates

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about Tolstoi's wife and ended it wondering if Socrates' wasn't equally misunderstood. While it may look like I'm on a dishonourable pursuit into the private histories of others' wives, you know it is purely academic, don't you?

As it happens, Socrates said the above words and the fact that HE was a philosopher himself, it is but obvious that he considered himself unlucky in his marriage. Xanthippe was notorious for her sharp tongue and bad temper during her times, as the accounts go. She was berated by several as a hag who dragged Socrates away from his pursuits of knowledge and nagged him to climb down from his high pedestal of a philosopher to become an ordinary man, which he obviously refused to do. Throughout history, several people including literary giants such as Shakespeare painted her as the Goddess of the Shrews.

So I decided to dig up the internet and find out a bit more about it. As proved by Sofia Tolstoi, there might have been a little misunderstanding here. And guess what?! The Net is filled with people who actually think that she was meted out terrible injustice. There are apparently no credible written accounts of her notoriety or biographies of Socrates' married life apart from a few metaphorical references made by the man himself! Now that's dangerously one-sided!
All that we know is folklore that travelled within Europe spread by Romans of a later date. Plato, the only guy who lived in her lifetime, made very little reference to her and whatever little that's there was in flattering light. Shakespeare's words about Xanthippe can't be taken too seriously coz he was just a Karan Johar of his times, an entertainer without any serious sense of responsbility. The fact that he changed the course of english history (we are talking about Shakespeare, not KJo) can't be held against the Xanthippe argument for the simple reason that he didn't materialise in the scheme of things until nineteen centuries later! So the argument remains!

Anyway, here's a link to some Socrates' quotes for timepass:

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/socrates.html

Winds of Change

Reading the reports about the US presidential elections, I usually find it interesting that a significant few of the reports on the web are written not in the US, but in the UK! Brits actually comment on news articles on US presidential elections, participate in online opinion polls, lament the state of affairs, passionately make the case for a candidate, and even indulge in ugly spats with fellow brits over Obama and Palin!! (no one's really bothered about McCain anymore, if you noticed!)

Now I may be the wrong guy to find that strange, 'coz I'm doing the same!

My approach is a slightly different one compared to them, because I follow the UK politics, Zimbabwean presidential elections, Russian voting patterns and the Philippines' political system with an equal fervour, if not with the same attachment to the results. It is a part of my insatiable curiosity about the world politics I think!

But the brits actually talk about the whole thing as if they were a part of the whole voting process in America! They are so wired to the american way of life and glued to their politics that they forget sometimes, I think, that they are from a different country!On my recent trip to the UK, my travel companion told me that I come across as a pretentious character because I was trying to speak with the british accent when I spoke to the locals. I defended myself saying I try to speak english with a slight Russian accent with Russians and my natural accent back in Indian office, a bit of black-brother accent with friends! I even speak my native langauge in telangana accent with my friends in Hyderabad, Guntur accent with my family and north coastal andhra accent on some occasions with other people! I try to make myself more understandable that way to people around me, so much so that some Russian colleagues at office ask me to be present when other Indian colleagues are talking to them (in english, mind you), so that I can translate it to english of their understanding!

My point is, though I may come across as a guy trying to be what I'm not, I feel I'm just being aspirational. I want to be a brit accented guy in britain for sure, coz I find that convenient. That doesn't mean I don't like my natural accent, which I still use with people who like to hear it that way. Some may find that delusional. Like I'm trying to run away from my identity. I defend it is a part of the continuing human endeavour to be better, to be one step higher!

Now back to the topic of the brits participating in american political debates, does this indicate that popular opinion in UK is veering towards becoming the 51st state of US?

Well, may be not! I think it is just the internet obliterating boundaries and nationalistic feelings. For better, if you ask me! While some Indians want to be like Brits, some Brits want to be like the Americans, some yankees look to Japan may be and all this will lead a cosmopolitan culture erasing idealogies and beliefs that built these walls around us. It'll take a century or two before people decide to tear down most of these country-specific economies and politics and create a sort of global order. But I feel it is coming, and it is long overdue. Not like an empire built by the conquests of Alexander the Great, but by the victory of democracy - not just of one nation, but of the of the world!

By the way, how many of you heard of the 'Winds of Change' songs by Scorpions? It is a song that starts with walking down the River of Moscow across to Gorky Park and feeling the winds of change. I do that daily, just for the record. Coz I live on the banks of Moscow River across the Gorky Park! I realised only recently that I'm bloody living in that song, which is among my all time fave songs! And I bloody well feel the winds of change too!

A Race Intriguing!

I've been following the US election scene with keen interest and a slightly higher involvement than an Indian guy living in Russia would. One can argue that these elections are crucial to the world, what with the unipolar nature of our times, but I think they aren't really so significant to the average citizen. Outside Iraq, only the intelligentsia and the informed fret over the misdeeds of Bush era and the rest live in blissful ignorance of the goings-on, perhaps rightly so. Nevertheless, the informed need to exercise their grey cells, and I do it with remarkable regularity - I spend atleast an hour a day scanning the news about the US Presidential elections!

I started tracking the race, expecting Hillary Clinton to be in control, led to that belief by the mainstream world media and opinion polls by a large measure. But Obama beat her to the race atleast upto the Democratic nomination, and I must say that I wasn't impressed initially. I thought Obama was just another smooth talking politician who the American public thinks will make a charming President! Like they voted for Bush because 'he's a great guy to have a beer with!'. Ofcourse, my assessment of Obamania was clouded with my prejudices about the legendary stupidity and gullibility of American public.

As I read more about Obama, and heard him talk, I was really inspired by his remarkable story and rise from nowhere. And the Republican negative tactics, aided by Sarah Palin's antics made me subscribe more to Obama's vision than ever. The opinion polls show him leading, and that should give comfort to his followers. But his race is still a factor. Obama might be a great man, but he is black! So no one really knows if people who publicly support him will go vote for him on the d-day! Analysts say the race is tighter than the polls show. What the......?!

Interestingly, Obama has had luck going on his side, with an Act of God in the form of precipitation in money markets coming at the right time! Yes people are affected, but Obama is winning! Its a case of hope scavenging on despair, and all for the 'greater good'! One can't be too naive in such circ.s to think that the turn of events shouldn't be exploited by him.

The latest Act of God to help his cause is his Grandmother falling gravely ill! The black man has a white Grandmother, originating from the heartland of America and just to remind people about his White side, she is on deathbed two weeks before the election. So the front pages are suddenly splashed with an impeccably dressed grey-haired white woman hugging Obama. That's the exact stereotype that expressed fear for Obama until recently, calling him 'terrorist' and 'arab'! And there you have 'one of them' hugging him and claiming to have brought him up, imbibing the white values! Wouldn't that do wonders for him, to quells fears about his alleged secret agenda?

It's a tragedy that she is dying, but she is up for her turn anyway being 85 years of age. And on her way out, she's doing her bit for her grandson's ascent to the Top Job without uttering a single word! None of the Analysts can come out in the open and say that this is helping Obama immensely. None of them are ready to admit that his decision to suspend campaign and be at his ailing white grandmother's side was perhaps a brilliant and calculated campaign tactic. At one stroke it shows his human side, builds a family story and quells fears about his race, all helping his cause for the big job! And two weeks before elections! God does want Obama to win, doesn't he?

Can you blame the McCain camp if they are muttering, 'Why does that old bitch have to die now?'

All in a Day's work!

I met a Rocket Scientist yesterday. Serious!

He's working on a couple of Robots for the International Space Station - up there somewhere. The Space Station is up there, I mean. He and the robots are still stuck on the gravity-maniac: earth. Explaining the complexity of the work and the no-scope-for-mistakes nature of it, he said, "I know what happens when they put a comma in the wrong place!"

And the curious me asked, "Well, what really happens if they put it in the wrong place?"

"Last time they did it...", he started and we all burst out laughing! I mean, they actually did it last time?!! Apparently they did! It was a Belorussian satellite that went into an elipticial orbit around the unknown and was untraceable for three days after launch. What happens to these satellites roaming alone in the unknown parts of the Space trying their best to communicate to the mother station? If they had a mind of their own, would they be sad and desolate? I wonder!
Another time, he said, they missed a line in the program for a bunch of five satellites sent to Mars. Two of them crashed into the surface of Mars, two missed the red planet altogether and went beyond, beyond the Solar System by now, if they managed to survive the asteroid belt. Only one survived the omission and saved some face for the project team. What happens to the guy who managed to miss the line? I wonder again! He would be sad and desolate for sure!

*********

Test Cricket is a different ball game altogether. If the five day length is not enough to make it special, it has its little idiosyncrasies that make you feel like comparing it to non-conformist poetry of 15th century! Test Cricket is like a proud Mozart holding his own in the midst of a thousand Britney-clones. Only if you have the patience to sit in office, reading the ball-by-ball commentary on internet for five days and mentally framing the images of the elegant Laxman's Leg Glance racing away to the boundary, can you claim to be a member of the high-religion of Cricket. Instant coffee sells, but filter coffee is in its own league!

Oz Media bitterly criticized Ganguly for his stalling tactics in the first test. A condescending commentator called him a 'Serial Offender'. So today Dada walked on to the pitch, and took enormous amounts of time to assume strike, irritating the waiting bowler! Only Dada can do this stuff! He didn't need to stall here, unlike the previous test. But I think he did just that to poke his pelvis in the direction of that condesc. commentator. Almost saying, 'You want to call me that again? Be my guest!'. I'm sure he'll have his laugh reading tomorrow's newspapers if this issue still raises its head above the widespread celebrations of his own 7000 runs and Tendulkar's 12000 while crossing Lara's record! They don't make them better than Dada when it comes to mooning the critics!

I smiled inwardly when I read that Ishant Sharma walked out in the middle as the 'night watchman' after Tendulkar's wicket. That's one of the classic idiosyncrasies of Test cricket! If they have only few overs left for the close of the day, they send the worst batsman in the side to play out the overs and face chin music next morning, than risk a valuable wicket! The opposition goes into full gear to put another fast wicket on the board and try their best to unsettle the comic bowling specialist swinging his bat at everything flying around him, leaving the ball alone! While Zaheer and Bhajji acquired a bit of batting skills, killing the comedy of their cameos, people like the gawky Ishant still keep the tradition alive!

Test cricket is like the Hyderabadi Zafrani Biryani as described by Big B in Cheeni Kum!

Hail the King

Obama and McCain just got out of their second Presidential debate. Both traded punches, and McCain played McNasty for a few moments. The eternal Hope engine, Barack Obama, gave his well-rehearsed discourses. People want to know who won the debate, and the massive media engine will start its news, analysis, opinion, counter-opinion, satire etc etc.

But you know what the most interesting thing, reading about the debate was?

Check out the headlines in the American media:

CNN: "McCain, Obama clash on the economy, taxes"

New York Times: "Obama and McCain clash over economy"

Washington Post: "Economy Dominates Debate"

No one wants to say which way the debate went! Everyone is cautious... waiting to see what the people say!

Now check out the world news media!!

Irish Times, Ireland: "Obama comes out on top in tense political debate"

Guardian.co.uk: "Victory on Points for Obama"

Radio Netherlands: "Obama wins second debate with McCain"

ABC Online, Australia: "Polls give debate win to Obama"

Geez, the entire world wants Obama to win!

Holier than Who??

Coming back to the topic of the Rockstar Gurus, I brushed past a wannabe recently:

A self-styled 'eminent philosopher' barged into the Couchsurfing (CS) online community in London and started soliciting audience for an enlightening seminar he wanted to give. Nothing wrong with that, except that he started it as an innocent CS Meeting, the type that CS-ers normally organize to have a beer, shake a leg and have fun! A few people signed up for his invitation, before being hit with this full-blown self-promoting advertisement Guruji started.....

"On the auspicious occasion of India's Independence Day, you are cordially invited to attend a free lecture and seminar with Sri VijayAnand, Indian spiritual master and Founder of Kaya Kalp Yoga........"

His first post sounded like, Oh, I'm in London next week, so is anyone interested in some indian cooking, and an evening of discussion about india? Lot of people jumped at the Indian cooking tag and offered to organize a get together.... He reverted, assigning responsibilities for organizing the Seminar!!! Ppl backed out immediately sensing what's going on, but there's no stopping the man!

He then sent the invite to thousands of members, posted it indiscreetly on every discussion forum and eventually got rebuked by the moderators for displaying crass commercialism to a totally unrelated community!! I bet a thousand people must have thought, 'What an ass-hole, this Indian guru!'

And then there was this article about a lawsuit in America!

Victoria Olsteen, co-pastor and wife of Joel Olsteen was sued by an airhostess, Sharon Brown, for assault and displaying un-christian behaviour that resulted in Brown's loss of faith! The Olsteen couple belongs to the celebrity class in US, preaches at a church attended by close to 200,000 people per month!! Joel Olsteen is also a mega-preaching TV evangelist on international networks with millions of followers.

Brown's contention was, seeing a self-proclaimed christian shepherd like Olsteen behave like a commonplace hooligan, resulted in her rethinking about her Christian beliefs and loyalty to Church. So ofcourse, she wants some money for medical counselling and a paltry 10% of the Olsteen's wealth! And no prizes for guessing the wealth accumulated by these shepherds btw!

Holy Shit, eh?

Good Mourning India!

25 May 2008 "Hooch Tragedy claims 180 Lives"

A batch of illicit liquor consumed by people of the lower sections of the society claimed 180 lives over the past two weeks as per officials in the southern states of India. It is believed that the toll could rise further, fearing that several litres of the deadly mixture is still at large.

Aug 01, 2008 "32 people killed in Gautami Express Fire"

A fire broke out in the sleeper coaches of an Indian train, Gautami Express, killing 32 people so far and injuring atleast 40 more, of which a few are in critical condition

Aug 03, 2008 "80 killed in stampede at Naina Devi temple"

A stampede in the hill-temple of Naina Devi in Himachal Pradesh resulted in atleast 80 deaths, with several hundreds injured. The toll could be much higher as per the temple tehsildar, but cannot be estimated immediately due to the utter chaos prevailing at the popular pilgrim center.

Who the f**k needs terrorists in this country??

People die like mosquitoes every day!

If we keep going like this, mera bharat mahan will soon become Mera Bharat Kahan????

And what is religion!

My couchsurfing guests of yesterday - Piet & Carla - sat down with me for a chat about India, that soon developed into a discusision about religion. I told them about my aversion to religious ceremonies, and affliction to pray only in times of trouble. But reading about religions and philosophies, yes that's a passion bordering on obsession!

I told them about the concept of Karma Yogi and how different it is from the western understanding of Yoga. And it got me thinking too. Not about Karma yoga alone, but religion as a whole.

There were so many gurus and philosophers who tried to crack the mysteries of life. Some really intelligent people, some visionaries, some false messiahs and a lot of also-rans. No, I'm not talking about the rockstar types like Osho, Satya Sai Baba and Sri Sri Sri!

Philosophers from the Greek golden era, Buddha's time in the east, Chinese intellectuals, until Ramakrishna Paramahansa, Vivekananda, Jiddu Krishnamurthi, Nietzche... they all attempted to come with an answer and they all formulated theories and concepts - undoubtedly intelligent and thought-provoking, but never comprehensive enough to transcend the barriers of religion!

Very few philosophers can reach out to the majority of the world. Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad were the most successful, but their followers had to resort to force and intimidation to spread their thoughts! Buddha appeals to a vast majority of believers, but people become that much less christian or less muslim, when they adopt buddhist thoughts.

But the entire world is looking for the liberation, for the answer to this great mystery called Life! Scientists, Atheists spend years trying to search for the reasons of this accident called life. Believers rely on a cosmic miracle theory, engineered by a higher force. But everyone wants to know what is really going on with their life! And what stops them from exploring all available answers? Religion!

If you are born into a particular religion, or believe in a religion by choice, chances are that you never get a chance to hear other views. Prejudices impede your passage, incentives and threats keep you in inertia or your mum will be displeased with your conduct, at the least!

Religion, I think, is the only thing that stops humans from making a collective effort to find the truth!

One can lead a monochromatic, meaningless existence like all of us, ignoring the question. Or renounce the world like Buddha and lead a monochromatic, meaningful life to discover the 'Purpose of Life' and 'Answer to the great question' !

Either which way, your religion will tell you that you aren't compliant to its holy laws!

Entertainment Value!

U kno wotz funny?

Google just listed the following news item in the 'ENTERTAINMENT' section:

'MNS launches scathing attack on Private firms for employing North Indians'